How do you know when it’s time to begin? When the child inside is begging to be freed from their secret burden of sin.

How do you know that it’s time to stop playing the niceties, and to pry open the wound’s buried atrocities.

Where is the line in the sand that will not allow us to go any further, until  we put down the cross that could bury us six feet under.

What is the unannounced miracle that walks us back to our shadow still trembling in the corner.What force is finally strong enough to break down the walls, that hid our suffering as we stood proud and tall.

How could this child inside of you single handedly push your ego hard enough to fall. 

Hail to their audacity for atlas refusing to be a slave to our external grandeur; for no longer being good for the sake of pleasing others.

Do you remember when she let out a scream that could not be heard?When you covered her mouth and begged her not to utter a word?

She believed your promise that keeping secrets would cleanse her self worth. She toiled, praised and paraded herself to no avail.

Her unspoken contempt burning like the fires of hell. Shocked, that you would keep sacrificing until you drew her blood.

She finally decided to appeal to all the love in your heart;For you are the same being who would not abandon a wounded animal on a road side.

So she plopped herself on the floor of your life to show you how much hurt and pain you feel on the inside. 

She let out her anxiety for you to feel that she is still fighting to catch her breath. 

She collapsed your will in hopes you could redeem her from the grips of shame. She stirred your rage to admit the injustice of playing the abuser’s game.

She is your limp body of depression begging for your full attention and care.

Your inner child who was sexually abused is the near lifeless creature flagging you down in your symptoms of post traumatic stress.

For no other reason but to be nursed back to a life that is your birthright.

The time of deeper healing comes when you begin to heed the pain of this child inside. When you remember that you are still her—and the fate that lies ahead is bigger than  what her broken spirit can maneuver.

The time of your deeper healing begins ticking, when getting the most coveted item on your checklist left you just as wanting and waiting.

Unknowingly waiting for the deeper healing to begin. 

AUTHOR: INI ANANA

IMAGE: ANGELA-UNWANA ANANA