February 12, 2021

A Love Letter to the Lonely.


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It’s almost Valentine’s Day, so love is in the air, right?

Maybe not.

Whether you’re in a relationship or not, no one should wait for that one day a year to feel loved.

With the rise of social media, it seems as if everyone is either in love with being in love or in love with being self-partnered. Both are good, as long as it’s true.

A lot of what we see on social media is wrapped in good intentions but, sadly, may not be what lies beneath the surface.

The trappings are pretty to look at, but is it real?

Are we just playing the role we’re expected to, simply because we want to look good for the world?

Constantly being bombarded with visions of perfection isn’t good for us. It gives us unrealistic expectations of what we think should be in our lives.

In reality, love and relationships take hard work, which is often not shown on the surface.

I posit that social media has brought out the worst in some of us. We’re always chasing “the next big thing” just because someone we think we admire “has it all.”

What we fail to remember: they may be sharing just the good—not necessarily the real.

Putting it all out there is scary and not something many people are willing (or even want) to do. 

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by all the sentiments of love and perfection—on social media or in real life—take a step back. Breathe.

And remember, you always have yourself to love and be loved by.

Dear You,

Yes, you. You, sitting alone in the dark, thinking too much.

And you, sitting with the one you love, wondering how long it will last.

And even you, who is happy with everything in their life right now, smiling and content.

We all have bad days—every single one of us. What makes them better is how we choose to react to them. How we choose to do better next time. Because there will be a next time.

A sharp word, an angry look, a frustration (or 10). Life isn’t easy, but how we react to the things that make us crazy or angry can change everything.

Remember to say, “This is a bad day, not a bad life.” It’ll go far.

Don’t allow a commercial holiday to dictate how, when, or even who you love.

I have dear friends who are intentionally not partnered. They lead happy, full lives every day. They are surrounded by love. Love from friends, family, pets, and themselves.

You don’t need a partner to experience love. You don’t need children to experience love.

Those are bonuses; you choose to have them.

All you need is yourself.

You can choose yourself daily, not just when society says you should.

And if you are partnered, your way isn’t the best and only way.

Don’t tell others they’re missing out simply because they choose to be unpartnered or childless.

How each and every person chooses to live their lives is for them, not you.

Now, take a moment and remember why you love yourself.

What parts of you do you want to make better? 

How can you go out into the world today, even if it’s something small, and change someone’s day? Even your own. (It’s possible.)

While the world is reminding us that love is in the air, let’s take a moment to feel that feeling every day.

With love and gratitude.

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