“I am so f—- done with love!”

In response to this declaration, my mother just listened quietly, holding my sadness and grief with care and patience.

See, many years ago, I was devastated from yet another failed relationship, so I had called my mom and immediately declared love is bullshit, I’m done, and started to spin out.

After allowing me some space, my mom interrupted me, which immediately got my attention as that is not her style.

She went on to unfold a whole philosophy of love which boiled down to “Never make someone apologize for who they are and find someone who will do the same.”

Whoa! Talk about being knocked back on your heels. She made it sound so very simple. I wanted to argue that she didn’t understand, it was harder for me, blah blah blah, but instead I paused, and decided to really take in what she was saying. After all, she and my dad had managed a good 30+ years together before he died, so she was definitely the expert here.

I made a commitment to seek out this kind of love. This required a lot of me! It meant I had to learn how to accept the wholeness of another person, become comfortable with letting my whole self be seen, develop more patience and compassion, set boundaries, and let connections go that weren’t living up to this intention.

This month, I celebrate 7 years with my guy!!

It hasn’t been perfect by any stretch of the imagination – we are still two human beings with our flaws and fears, but one thing I think we are getting on well with is following my mother’s sage advice.

Now, I’m not here to rub our love in your face if you’re struggling to find connection and companionship. Rather, I want to share with you some stories of hope and inspiration – including mine – because as hard as it feels some days to believe that after childhood abuse we can go on to have healthy, fulfilling relationships (I remember my many days of doubt) – love and connection are yours for the taking.

Will it require something of you?

Damn straight!

Will you have to release fears and insecurities?

Yep!

Will you need to learn relationship and communication skills?

Most definitely!

One of my absolute “favoritest” things about being a coach is seeing the hearts of the men and women I work with thaw as they heal old wounds and rediscover their hope and capacity for connection.

If you are ready to break free of the past and the patterns that keep you disconnected, please, reach out, let’s connect!

With love,

Rachel

P.S. DISCLAIMER: I in no way believe that one MUST have a relationship in order to have a fabulous life. If you are happily single and that is coming from the place of an empowered choice – yes, do you!