February 23, 2021

To my Brown-Eyed Son, I’m Sorry. Mommy is not Always Right.

I’m sorry that I yell when I’m frustrated.

I’m impatient when it comes to small things, and I know it’s tough on you. The stress of being a mother is something that isn’t talked about enough.

But trust me, I’m learning—I’m learning how to apologize after getting angry. Trying to take deep breaths before reacting to the small things. It’s unfair to expect people around you to understand your thoughts and feelings when it seems like your world is crumbling around you.

Being a mom has been the hardest job I’ve ever had, but let me also say it’s the most rewarding. Something about seeing your kid show kindness or count to 10 is a victory in itself.

So, I’m sorry to my little brown hair and brown-eyed son. You don’t always understand my frustration about the toys or dishes in the sink. I’m sorry stress takes over and I lose it.

I learned from my childhood that my feelings were never understood—no one even asked me about mine. I know that with you, I make sure to include your feelings. I apologize when I’m wrong because mommy is not always right. Being an adult doesn’t mean I know everything. I know society one day will tell you grown-ups have it all together. We don’t—we yell, fall, and cry in the bathroom with a box of cookies. We don’t, you see, because in your eyes we are superheroes.

I am trying to be better for both of us.

Love, mommy.


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