I became a mother in 2016.
I’ve come to find out that there are seven pillars that impact our daily life, as I have lived it through my own daily experience.
Mothers need reminders that they don’t need to be on the hamster wheel—reminders that they can choose the life they want to live. They can create a full life not driven by the expectations imposed by today’s workforce. It’s a road less traveled, but more peaceful.
Along the way of working full-time and raising a young family, furloughed and then laid off, I have found that there are a few takeaways for new parents or moms to be to consider when growing their family:
1. Take care of yourself. Today, tomorrow, and in the future. It’s an ongoing process to “mother” and nurture yourself. Find a job, a position that understands what family life means and actually embraces the whole you—the one that has you, your kids, your dog, and everyone included.
2. Take help. If you have the opportunity to surround yourself with parents, in-laws, babysitters, or mother’s helpers, start to acquaint yourself with that early on. It takes a village to raise one child, so you’ll never feel bad about having more support, but you may feel bad at some point for having the lack of it.
3. Your commute means something, and so does working from home. Pre-covid, working remotely worked for some companies—for others it did not. If you can find yourself in a position to work remotely, hybrid, or close to home, your life will unfold differently with young kids.
4. Childcare. In-home nannies and au pairs, take the “schlepping” kids to and from daycare out of the equation. Not everyone can afford it, but it will make things easier. Daycare is more affordable, but there are lots of coordination between you and your partner’s schedule. Single moms, I salute you. Life with kids means lots of adjustments and flexibility.
5. Finances and careers. If you are part of a two-income family, one of your jobs or roles will have to be the “more flexible one”—it sucks to say it out loud. Sometimes, careers and jobs have to take a backseat, and having these conversations early on will help you sort through your schedules. Schedules that line up with a school day or have something like an 8-4 or 9-3 set you up better for yourself and your kids.
6. Meal planning, activities, and your schedule all factor into your success as a parent. You have to priorotize and choose which things fill your cup and which drain you. The weekend is two days.
7. Be present with your kids. There are so many distractions in this life. What we do, how we spend our time, and what jobs we have all affect how much “time” we have with our kids. You may not see it, but they are watching every move and know if things are “off.”
Once the pandemic hit, I was furloughed, and I had more time with my kids. All of a sudden, I saw a huge shift for the better in them. They, too, didn’t like being on the hamster wheel. It’s like the whole world breathed a sigh of relief. Families began to autonomously wake, move, and run their lives in a way that made sense for their family unit.
To all the mothers out there, it’s no coincidence that the way we come into the world plays a big part in who we become, how we cope, how we feel about ourselves, and how we navigate challenges as they arise. In this phase of motherhood, I urge you to take stock of your daily habits, your energy, your work, and your overall life.
I come from a long line of strong, selfless, and motivated women—women who always put their families ahead of themselves and worked full-time.
Each of us is a vessel—we have a capacity and an energy unique to us. Motherhood literally touches every aspect of our life.
There is a chemistry that shifts when becoming a mother, and only you hold the power to change or shift your relationships, your household, your kids, your home, your work, your power, your voice, your energy, your well-being, and how you feel. It’s a choice within.
Let’s create the motherhood journey that nurtures and supports the best version of you—the one that lights you up, is resilient, and shows up authentically every day.