Tears on my chest.
I sat with a man in Yab-Yum, holding him, naked, chest to chest, heart to heart.
We sat in stillness and breathed, coming into our bodies, softening into each other, into the warmth of our skins, into presence.
I began to rock him, to slowly move his body.
We softened into each other, into relaxation, into our breath, into movement.
I felt the vibration deep inside of him, felt it rise into his heart, felt his body tremble.
I felt his tears on my chest.
My heart melted.
Buried deep for so long.
I held him, moving slowly, breathing.
Then I lay him down, my body over his, my mouth resting on his heart.
I held him in his tears until he came to stillness and we lay in peace.
Tears of the heart.
Hearts that we’ve held closed for so long.
Hearts that we’ve caged for so long.
Hearts that yearn to live—to live open.
Open to the wind, to the rain, to the sun.
Hearts that have a voice that want to sing, to shout, to growl, to moan.
Hearts that want to play, to laugh, to giggle with delight at what they see, what they feel in the world.
Hearts of longing, of desire, and of dreams.
Hearts of artists and poets, adventurers and discoverers.
Hearts that are not confined in expectations and mediocrity.
And hearts that want to love.
To show how much love is within them.
Hearts that long to burst open with love, to allow that endless stream of energy to flow. That’s the nature of the heart, to love.
Not a quiet heart, this heart of love.
Not a well-behaved heart, this heart of love, living in the expectations of others, sitting in the narrow confines of belief of what it is to be a man.
A heart open to receive.
I’ve been working with men for all of my journey in Conscious Sexuality, and I’ve seen something.
How hard it is for so many men to receive.
How hard we work at controlling ourselves.
Not showing too much, not feeling too much, not living too much.
I’ve worked with so many men with “performance” issues.
And such a big part of this is receiving.
Being willing to receive pleasure.
Being open, vulnerable.
Being in our bodies, receiving through our bodies, our hearts open.
For someone to touch that part of us.
I’ve seen how these issues change when we learn to receive.
I’ve seen how our hearts open.
And how that connects to our bodies, to our Lingam, to our sex.
And more often than not, until we learn to open with joy, with celebration—it’s our tears that will open our hearts.
These sacred tears.