This post is Grassroots, meaning a reader posted it directly. If you see an issue with it, contact an editor.
If you’d like to post a Grassroots post, click here!

0.3
July 19, 2021

Just Wear the Bikini

Photo by Diovana Papen on Pexels.

“Just wear the bikini.”

I’ve seen a lot of social media posts on this topic. This is the first summer I’ve worn a two piece swimsuit in decades. I thought nothing of them growing up, until the age of 13 when my father told me I couldn’t wear swimsuits anymore and I needed to cover up. After that, I either hid the fact I still wore swimsuits around friends, or covered up while around family. It was exhausting to live a lie and pretend to be someone I didn’t want to be.

The fake conservatism eventually turned into self consciousness – reaching a place where I hated my body and picked apart everything about it. I started judging women that decided to show their bodies, deeming them as inappropriate or even slutty, just asking for attention from men. Deep down though, I wanted the freedom to do what they were doing.

I was taught through cultural and religious themes that men “couldn’t inherently control themselves. They were like animals and it was up to us women to be modest so men could be well behaved” (these were actual words spoken to me). I actually believed this narrative for years, not knowing any better.

Eventually I learned this was all programming that I had to work to undo. Our bodies are not sinful or shameful. They are miraculous vessels in which we get to live out our human experience. The bumps, lumps, scars, marks – none of it actually matters – it’s just a house for all the beauty encased within.

I realized the only reason some women believed they had to cover up for men is solely because we’ve allowed the rhetoric that “men can’t control themselves” to go on for too long. My simple truth is, a healthy and balanced human realizes the desire to have sex with someone doesn’t come from the way someone looks in a swimsuit or revealing clothing, but from a deep bond and emotional connection.

If women continue to cover up so men won’t “lose control”, it gives men a pass on doing the work that so desperately needs to be done – to liberate themselves from the unhealthy masculine tendencies allowed in our society for so long; porn addictions, obsession with “tits and ass”, the sense of entitlement with regards to sex, and thinking the disconnect from their feelings and emotions is normal. It also deters women from liberating themselves in acceptance and love of their own bodies.

Who knew putting on a swimsuit on a beautiful summer day would be part of my own spirits liberation from the shackles that have bound myself and countless women for centuries?

THIS is what is meant by “just wear the bikini.”

Leave a Thoughtful Comment
X

Read 0 comments and reply

Top Contributors Latest

Sara Jacobson  |  Contribution: 750