Presence and Appreciative Focus…Ooooh those sound like fancy words! So, let’s break it down!
What is ‘Presence’ and how does it relate to our Hoo-has?
Presence is the most powerful way of connecting to our bodies and anyone else’s body in the world, too. When we come from a place of being really present, aware, switched on, eyes open and showing up in the moment, we have a foundation under us.
Finding ways to get present in our bodies will heighten our experiences in our own bodies, in our orgasms, and our everyday experiences with the people around us. Plus, we feel better all-around in life when we are more present and with it!
We can use this very simple presence-ing exercise that we learnt from a class with Josh Pais to get present to the room around you:
Look at the floor, the walls, the furniture, look at your hands and your body and the space you are sitting in, and notice how you feel more ‘aware’ or more ‘awake’.
Now you are present – you’re welcome, and welcome!
And now it’s time to show up deeper and in an even more juicy way! By moving into APPRECIATIVE FOCUS.
What in the world is all that about? Is it useful? How does it impact us and those around us?
Appreciative focus is when another human, of any gender, allows us to be in presence and come into the moment with us in full awareness and shows up with us in gratitude in that moment. It’s like a type of meditation, ritual or a straight up game of ping pong – we are both there, present and paying attention!
Savannah: I recently went to a friend’s house for dinner who lives in the same village as me. He has an artistic flare and spends his life creating products for women. How he approached the entire eating experience with care and attention was inspiring. The preparation for dinner took him two days. When I arrived, his instruction were, ‘You are here to BE – let me do everything else.’
The food was delicious and artisan. But the thing that was the most profound was how his appreciation and focus as we spoke gathered my energy. Now there was nothing sexual about the experience – it was friends having some time together. But he was truly present and held the space for me to do the same. It felt nourishing and honouring of the feminine in me.
This made me realise how easy it is to bring all of my Queenly potency into everything I do. Taking the time to be present, relax, open and allow were the key.
It’s ceremonial, really. We as women need and are amplified by ceremony. Not in a hippy woo-woo way, but in a considered and grounding way.
Teany: I also had a lovely experience with a man around appreciative focus and holding space for me to feel more grounded in who I am. I had been getting to know a man who had brought me to a space of feeling more gathered and in my element, so to speak, so I could be open and fly. It may sound a bit corny, but it’s an amazing feeling when someone can hold a space for you, appreciate who you are and fan the flames. It lets you really step into that juicy power we all hold within ourselves as women.
This feeling of being present in myself and him allowing that space while being himself by my side has a led to several incredible synchronicities where I will have some thoughts about him that later on he’ll verbalize he had about me. And also holding the space of presence, not judging, but truly listening to want to help or be there. Not to mention the energy that comes from it that has brought out my best qualities full on and vice-versa. Those are the people we want to attract more of, whether lover or friend. It was a just a lovely experience and we’re still friends to this day.
Lady Queen, these are the sort of people we want more of in our lives!
This month, have a Queen Date: connect in person (if possible) with a lady-friend, show up and honour the feminine in them. This can be an evening, a lunch on an afternoon where you bring food or treats or enjoy something that you can savour and respect in each other.
Reach out to a lady or ladies now and book it in your calendar! Let’s learn to be present and truly appreciate each other!!