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When it comes to relationships, most of us can admit there’s room to improve our not-so-perfect tendencies, but why do we hang on to partners who can’t or don’t want to change?
We may wonder why “longer-term” relationships fail. Often, our so-called “deal breakers” don’t actually break us in the beginning when they should. We waste a lot of time tolerating certain behaviors and incompatible personality traits until finally, our internal levee just can’t take it anymore. Deal breakers sure do break us in the end.
Why not just “let go” before all that?
Knowing when to let go shouldn’t be that difficult, but it’s the human way to hold out hope for change. Only we can see the hidden potential! In bits and flashes, we witness how things could be (at some future point), instead of how they really are.
Newsflash: most people show you exactly who they are, but we choose to believe something else, something more palatable.
It’s fairly easy to discern a quality partner from those who just won’t change. Instead of prolonging the agony of trying, failing, pleading, and repeating the same pathetic cycle of communicating what we want and being promised a different outcome (aka change that doesn’t come), we can f*cking let go from the get-go without looking back. That cycle lands us back where we started, trapped inside relationships that don’t help or enhance our lives.
If you have to fight for attention, let go.
If this is his third apology for the same mistake, let go.
If you often wonder where you stand, let go.
If you must rescue, make excuses, or justify, let go.
If he rushes you or walks ahead of you, let go.
If you do all the laundry, the cooking, and the cleaning, without a thank you, without an equal helping hand, let go.
If she is late every time you put plan in place, let go.
If you feel anxious, sad, or incomplete in the relationship, let go.
If you comment on and like all her postings and photos on social media, if you champion and validate and share a kind word without reciprocation, let go.
If you had what seemed like a great date, but got ghosted anyway, let go.
If all you get are sporadic breadcrumbs, block or delete his number, and let go.
If he only reaches out when he’s bored or lonely, let go.
If you feel controlled and manipulated, let go.
If there are too many obstacles, let go.
If you feel like you must prove yourself worthy, let go.
If he’s all talk and no action, let go.
If you’re giving far more than you’re receiving, let go.
If you feel like a punching bag or a punchline, let go.
If she is super busy, but none of that glorified busyness includes you, let go.
If you feel like an option instead of a priority, let go.
If there are unaccounted for blocks of time, or vague, shady responses to direct questions, let go.
If they sabotage, poke fun, or coerce you when you’re trying to get sober, let go.
If he’s looking at his phone while you’re talking, let go.
If he tells you to stop being so uptight when you’re venting about something important, let go.
If the same five dishes that were in the sink in the morning are still there in the afternoon when you get home from work, let go.
If he doesn’t look for you across the room at a crowded party, let go.
If he calls your writing “a little hobby,” let go.
If you feel lonely when you’re with him, let go.
If you’re never surprised or delighted, let go.
If there is no joy, there never will be, so let go.
If you have to practically beg for a compliment, let go.
If he calls spending time with his own children “babysitting,” let go.
If you have to ask for help with the kids, let go.
If she doesn’t ask how you’re feeling after a difficult day, let go.
If you find yourself waiting for something or someone to change, you can be the one to change instead.
And you can just f*cking let go.