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Ben and Jerry’s “Netflix & Chill’d” ice cream tastes great, but it won’t heal your broken heart.

(Neither will the choco-mocha latte.)

Humans try to soothe emotional storms and pain with external rewards and soothing. Self-soothing isn’t a bad thing altogether—there are healthy options.

What are these healthy alternatives for the brokenhearted, you might ask? Anything really that is beneficial to overall health and well-being.

Here are some ideas to get you brainstorming (you need not wait until your relationship’s demise to start filling your own cup):

>> Nourish your mind, body, and spirit and fill yourself with self-love.

>> For the newly brokenhearted, some tender self-compassion is a sweet start: remind yourself that you have likely navigated this territory before, and you came out the other side strong and renewed—you will recover and mend. Allow yourself some tender, loving care.

The end of a relationship can trigger old stuff and bring up former wounds and pain. Becoming aware of feelings and negative self-talk is part of self-compassion. We challenge those thoughts with a compassionate voice.

Relationships of all forms offer us many lessons, and this is a blessing!

The self-love toolkit and survival guide for the brokenhearted:

1. Rid your house of all of the unhealthy food and stock up on healthy snacks.

(This way, you will be reaching for nutrient-dense and healthy snacks if you tend to eat emotionally.) I recommend some healthy beverages as well. Now isn’t the time for alcoholic beverages; these are only going to bring you down.

2. Clean your living space.

This is essential and will have an immediate impact. Light some candles and burn the incense and get cozy in your own abode.

3. Feel it—let it flow out.

Watch movies and listen to music that lifts your spirit or lets you cry it out whatever you need to. 

4. Move your body.

It can be anything from downward dog to speed walking in the brisk air. The type doesn’t matter—just get going. You will feel an instant lift.

5. Time for a scenery change.

If you love the outdoors, that in itself is a boost. The bookstore is my favourite place, and for healing and self-love, that self-help section is a great start. Head to your own local library, where resources are free and at your fingertips, as well as a community of smiling faces.

6. Get your hair done and perk up your wardrobe.

Nurture and replenish your physical self and renew. An end is also a new beginning, like a fresh start. We get to freshen and restore. This is also a great time to rid the closet of old and worn-out items or donate to a local charity.

7. Get out in your community.

This will help you get out of your head and into the world. Now is the time to do things you haven’t done for a while or with people you haven’t seen.

8. Try some indulgent solo dates.

Go to your favourite places or try new spots. Time alone is a nice gift we can give ourselves. Stare at the stars. Take a road trip. Write your heart out.

Darling ones, hearts are meant to love and heal, and self-love is the start.

We can fall back into love with the most important person: ourselves.

Life and love are now!

This guide is just a start.