We want to talk to you about having a truly healthy relationship with your body and your Pussy and opening to pleasure. And yes, that means we’ll be sharing more of our Pussipedia.
The first relationship with your Pussy should be the one you have with her, just you and your Vajayjay – rather than simply in relation to your partner.
Often the association of orgasm can be limited to time we spend intimately with our partners and perhaps we see it as our partners’ responsibilities to ‘allow’ us an orgasm. True that an orgasm from our partner is a delight…but we also have the option to open to pleasure for ourselves at any time.
As women, our relationship with our Lady Bits can be a wobbly or wonderful one!
For many women, our relationship with our Cooters might be somewhere in between. At some points, that relationship might be joyous, and on the flip side of that, we may have some experiences of trauma that we may still be living with, which can lead to anxiety or insecurities as a result of that trauma. In any case, being familiar with our Downstairs Kitty Cat and how she operates is essential for a truly happy balanced life.
We might have different relationships with our Cho-Chas than we would like – but we have everything we need here and now, in us and in Her, to change our relationships with our Poonanis into the ones we want, if we so choose.
We, as women, might have had a focus on comparing ourselves with other women, as we women can so often do in our society. The most important focus is what brings each of us pleasure – in our Gilded Lilies and our bodies, rather than from our heads.
Society has encouraged a detachment from our Pussies, and instead has us focused on how we look and making our minds reign as our only superpowers. Our minds are awesome but it’s our Pussies who should be in the driver’s seat. Only she knows truly what you desire and only she can ignite an energy in us so strong that it allows us to say YES fully to life.
Insecurity can come from many avenues – personal hygiene, physical looks, and traumatic experiences, like rape, sexual abuse, or unwanted sexual attention which can leave us feeling less than. This can lead to closing off to pleasure, or confusing pleasure with aggression or invasion, which can all lead to an inability to orgasm. In the Mama Gena experience – created by the author of the book Pussy – she asks the audience to stand up if they’ve had any inappropriate or uncomfortable sexual experiences, and 99% of the room got up. Which means you and me, as women, are in this together.
So how do we begin to decompress trauma and develop a healthy relationship with our C-U-Next-Tuesdays and with pleasure? We start by having healthy relationships with our bodies as a whole.
Seeing how our bodies serve us every day is a great start to appreciating them. Give your body the time she deserves: creating healthy rituals for your body as a whole, drinking enough water, cleansing her, exercising her, feeding her well, exploring her and taking time to self-pleasure, and speaking to your body as you would your best friend, because she is. You only have one body, and she is your temple.
These rituals help us create a mindset of love and support for this amazing vehicle we live in every day. No longer taking it for granted but adoring her, honouring her and strengthening her.
From here, we can start to look at our Poon-tangs for what they are: more than just a tool for sexual interaction or childbirth but an amazing friend, our GPS in life, love and business. This allows us to develop a personal relationship with her, understanding her, and recognizing any anxiety, insecurity or trauma that she’s experienced and choosing to release it and open her to pleasure.
Take a moment to truly listen to your Pussy. Find a quiet moment at home when you can be present and quiet with her. Clothing optional, place your hands on her and allow your focus and energy to go to that area. Tune in to how her energy feels, and her response to your attention. You may feel tingles, expansion of energy, or throbbing – it’s all normal. If you feel nothing at all in this moment, consider that you may still be in your head and guide your attention to your Pussy. Allow the energy to expand and contract, naturally creating a connection. When you’re ready, I want you to say loving words to her. Then feel/sense if there’s a response in return. You may be surprised to hear back.
Once we have connected to a feeling of self-love for our Pussies, we can begin to relax into Pleasure – more on that later on.
Stay connected to your Pussies, my Queens!