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“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.” ~ Maya Angelou
Christmas is coming! Break out your ugly sweaters, pour some eggnog, sing along to Mariah Carey, and settle in for the warm, fuzzy feeling that this time of year brings.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the sense of community this season can bring. However, I also empathize with the loneliness this season can bring as well. It can be a particularly tough time of year when you’ve been single for a while.
All the pressure to meet that special someone in a short few weeks can be hard. So, if you are someone who is tired of the status quo and expectations placed on you during the holidays, this is for you.
I hesitated to write this note—because I feared it would be a reminder of the loneliness and heavier emotions that many are fighting off this time of year.
I imagine how you feel—the emptiness, the hole in your heart that was meant to be filled by someone, the exhaustion from heavy thinking, and maybe the need for pillow fights with a sweetheart.
Isn’t it socially unfair and emotionally complicated that someone such as yourself is still alone and has no one to worry about—even on Christmas?
Perhaps it was this time last year you promised yourself that you would have someone special by the same time next year—it hasn’t happened. Eleven months just went by like a flash, and now December is already here.
Perhaps it’s the least of your troubles at this time, but you are somehow bothered by the failed vow.
Yes, some people have found their soul mates and are having the butterflies and unicorns kind of life, but that doesn’t mean you’re far off.
However, you are not alone.
I am a single woman, I have a cat, and I have a lot of friends who are married with children. I don’t have a typical holiday card to send them, but I am learning to embrace the life I have and appreciate the journey.
Try not to be deceived by your sight and the sugar-filtered stories popping up on your social walls—there is more to everything than meets the eye.
It’s fair to know, there are people stuck in unhealthy relationships—people who are glued in cheap lies that seem like a divine affair.
Look, friend, you’re much closer to the life you dream of and deserve.
Indeed, we are social creatures who thrive on our relationships with others. But socialization is also being able to find satisfaction in yourself, laughing at your silliness and luck, being at peace, patient, and faithful to yourself. To treat yourself with as much kindness as you extend to others.
Be grateful for the things and people who are in your life—those who mean to you and you mean to them.
I wish you a joy-filled holiday season.
Your single friend.