In our last few posts, we’ve been talking about the edge of competition that can come up in interactions with women and how to navigate this, fully moving into Sisterhood, shifting out of competition to connection and compassion.
Sometimes, this means letting go of the desire to be right and instead making the choice to be kind.
This can be tricky at first, as we might find ourselves wanting to prove ourselves when we feel we are right, unwittingly sabotaging ourselves. This needing to be right is a largely masculine reaction, wanting to assert dominance and take action from a place of ego. It’s time for us to shift into Lady Queenliness – to come from the most feminine place. To do so, we need to practice the most graceful thing we can do instead in these moments, which is to choose kindness towards the woman in front of us.
There are a few ways to do this:
Consciously stay in the space of:
- Hearing vs. listening – most people hear to respond instead of really listening to what the person in front of them is saying. Let’s choose to listen.
- Holding the space for emotions without trying to save the person, allowing them to be where they are and honouring them and their emotions as they are, without trying to change anything.
- Acknowledgement and appreciation – displaying gratitude and appreciation for what has been expressed to us and how it has touched us. It’s a brave thing for a person to share from a vulnerable place, so we should respect and honour their courage and feel honoured that they chose us to share with.
We know if we think back to previous relationships, we would often be listening to find a way to make our point or interrupt our friends to try and get them more upbeat and stop feeling sorry for themselves. We later have realised we have done them and ourselves a disservice – we would be exhausted, and they would feel like it’s unacceptable to have icky stuff come up. We can also remember being asked if someone could speak with us and being too ‘busy’ and so being unable to give the conversation and the person the time they deserved.
The question that helped us to make the shift is, ‘What would being kind in these scenarios look like?’
Another thing we learned is it’s much better if we let go of being right and aim to be happy instead. There’s no need to be right. It’s about staying in our pleasure zone. Also, we know now to step out of a female conversation/interaction if it is no longer serving all of us. Sometimes, the kindest, most pleasurable thing for both us and the woman in front of us is to walk away. This is an opportunity to lead with our Queenly wisdom and shift a potential disaster into union and Queenly camaraderie.
A good rule of thumb is this:
Leave the situation the same or better than you found it. By listening, you have the opportunity to make your attention the catalyst in the conversation. If you choose to stay, decide to add value – you have a choice in every female interaction.
When we focus on lifting and honouring the amazing things we witness in other women, we encourage Sisterhood. We can gain rapport and authentic connection by starting with small things – complimenting how they look, commenting positively on something they say, or chatting to them about something we notice they’re interested in. The positive interaction will allow her and us to receive, and it will encourage positive female energy.
Teany: I was at a grocery store in Michigan, and as I pulled up to the checkout with my cart, I noticed the young lady working the register had the most gorgeous honey brown eyes, so I decided to pay her a compliment. I looked directly at her with kindness and sincerity and told her so. She thanked me, and her reaction was completely caught off-guard and nervous. So much so she forgot how to work the check-out machine and had to request help. Quite funny and interesting how it’s hard to accept compliments from each other. That’s the power we have in our presence, kindness and honouring of each other.
Through nurturing and honour, the quiet feminine strengths of beauty, creativity and grace are heightened. When we honour ourselves and the women around us, like what happened in Teany’s story, we get into the habit of opening to a connection with all women. This makes it easier to go deeper, to share truths and sacred knowledge. In this way, Sisterhood starts with us.
Lady Queens, we are ready NOW!
By choosing kindness over competition, we can start to strengthen the Sisterhood. Let’s practice embracing our sisters fully. We can build on what we learn each time, move from competition or comparison towards one another to a Sisterhood-based way of being with compassion and connection. And just think, we can start easy by paying our sisters a simple compliment.
Here’s to claiming, embodying, and living in pleasure
Stay connected, juicy, and playful, and we’ll see you next time.
Love, Savannah and Teany