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It’s been a few years that I’ve stopped buying into the whole idea of New Year’s resolutions.
Why? Because most of the time, they don’t work.
What sounded like a “new beginning” for others, for me, it sounded like pressure. Not only did I feel obliged to follow a list that may or may not happen, I also felt out of tune with myself.
One of the most beautiful things that we are blessed with as human beings is the gift of change. Every second, every minute, every day, we have the chance to explore who we are and what we want in life. And let’s be honest, who you are in January might be totally different than who you will become in August, or November…or December!
So sticking to a list that my few-months-back self did sounds a bit shallow and limited for me. I don’t want to stick to lists. What I do want, however, is to be open to different possibilities and different versions of me. I may want to lose weight at the beginning of the year, but I may not want to stick to it by summer. I may feel excited to read 40 books in four months, but by the second month I may feel bored and up to something new.
Consequently, I ditched the whole idea of making New Year’s resolutions. This year, I’m not making any either—for a totally different reason.
And maybe, just maybe, you don’t have to either.
You see, before we enter the New Year, we open our notebooks and start thinking about resolutions. If we look deeper, they aren’t really resolutions: they’re imperfections. They’re things that we think are wrong, flawed, or lacking.
We evaluate our mishaps and flaws and are adamant on finding something that needs repair. We are so hard on ourselves. We even give ourselves a hard time when we don’t follow through our “resolutions.”
This year, I’m not making any resolutions because I don’t want to mend my life.
I love my imperfect self; I love my imperfect life; I love my flaws, mishaps, and deficiencies. And I hope you learn to love them too. I hope you accept them too.
We are a work in progress. We don’t need a new year to evaluate ourselves or fix anything. We can do that every single day. And whatever we want to “fix” or “improve,” it’s because we love ourselves enough to fix it—not because it’s wrong. Not because it’s the end of a year. Not because we have to be perfect or reach a perfect place.
Consequently, let’s love ourselves this year. Let’s not give them a hard time, pressure them, or limit them.
Improvement comes naturally when we love ourselves. But lists and endings and numbers can never work if we feel obliged to change.
You don’t have to change now. You don’t have to be anything else than what you are right now.