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March 13, 2022

Silencing Me

Another year I countdown.

Fighting my demons.

Fighting against another lesson.

What am I fighting exactly?

Another sign deep within.

Am I not listening?

There’s something in the water.

It’s clear.

Something is there.

But it’s deep.

Lingering in the depths to resurface.

Not drowning.

Sinking slowly.

At times, just floating on the surface.

Feeling the sun shine.

It feels guilty.

The signs say so.

“You can’t feel that!”

“You can’t say that!”

The signs repeat over and over.

They like to take my sun away.

Another encounter.

Another conversation.

Another second thought.

I retreat.

Back down I go.

Muffled in the water.

It’s lonely down there.

Where are all the signs now?

Drowning my every high.

They think they’ve won.

But the deeper I go, they don’t know.

I get stronger.

Push me down if you must.

Over and over.

It equals how many times I resurface.

Better and smarter.

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