Heartbreaks can often trigger a sense of impending doom.
They’re overwhelming, distressing, and can make us feel as if our time on Earth makes absolutely no sense without the person we love.
The day I walked him to the door and sat there crying like a one-year-old baby is still etched on my memory. Although it was nearly a decade ago, I still remember the feelings that permeated my body. They were intense and incurable. They were sad—so sad. They felt out of this world.
My heart was broken many times after that dismal separation. And although my outer reactions had significantly lowered, the pain that accompanied them was too heavy—and sadly abiding.
However, despite all the pain I have personally experienced, I have learned abundantly. The pain of heartbreak has taught me many things I wouldn’t have learned otherwise.
Here are eight things that only heartbreak can teach us:
1. We move on. At the moment of separation, we might think that we will never be able to move on—that life as we know it might come to an end. What we don’t realize at that moment, however, is that day by day, minute by minute, we will slowly move away from what was and step into what will be. The future might not be what we have exactly envisioned, but it will be what’s meant for us.
2. Emotions are short-lived. When I cried at the door that day, I thought I was never going to be happy ever again. Pain has a way of luring us into its company, making us believe that it will never go away. Nevertheless, pain is like any other emotion we might experience: temporary. Little by little, the pain of heartbreak subsides until it finally transforms into a tiny ball that permanently sits at the core of our hearts. Eventually, we learn to live with it without letting it affect our days.
3. Life is uncertain—and surprising. If there’s one thing that the pain of heartbreak has taught me is that we don’t always get what we want. On the other hand, we will get what we need—even if we don’t know it. Life is beautifully uncertain, and what seems like an end is actually a new beginning in disguise.
4. We can never really know someone. It doesn’t matter how close or in love we are, we can never truly tell what someone else is thinking or feeling. Words are deceptive, and the truth is we are all in relationships with people we will never really know. Especially after a breakup, we might feel as if the person we were in a relationship with is a completely new person. That said, heartbreaks teach us a lot about people and how we should never form a preconceived notion about them because that notion is prone to change.
5. We are stronger than we think. When we are stuck in pain, we might believe it’s who we are: weak and inadequate. But going through a tough breakup is only a phase, and eventually, we will metamorphose like a caterpillar who sooner or later will become a butterfly. Over time, enduring pain makes us stronger and knowing.
6. We fall in love many times. It’s natural to think that we might never fall in love again after heartbreak. The truth is we will fall in love many times, and every love experience will be special in its own way. Don’t let one heartbreak dim your light. We will meet many potential partners throughout our lifetime; we only need to open our hearts and minds to let them in.
7. Time doesn’t heal wounds. We do move on, but we might never entirely heal. Time doesn’t heal wounds; it slightly diminishes them, making them less painful and more meaningful. We can use time to learn from what happened and choose to create better, happier moments.
8. Beneath anger, there is love. After heartbreak, we might feel lots of anger and hate—at ourselves, at the one who hurt us, at life, at God, at our luck. However, beneath all these negative emotions lies abundant love and forgiveness. Try to get in touch with that inner place that’s not tainted by pain, guilt, or shame. When we activate the pure, universal love we have within, we are able to smoothly move on without dragging the past along with us.