“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” ~ Brené Brown
There couldn’t have been a simpler yet more powerful definition of connection than the one given by Brené Brown.
No matter where we are or who we become, our innate need for connection will always be at the driving seat.
To be seen, heard, and validated is all that we strive for in some way or the other.
Our need for connection, being able to be our true selves, is all that we keep looking for.
However, as simple as it sounds, finding a genuine connection can be the most challenging thing at times.
“Connection is why we’re here. It is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.” ~ Brené Brown
It takes a lifetime for some, and for others, it can just show up out of the blue!
Sometimes, you spend years together and still feel like you’re on the opposite ends of the road.
Yet, there are times when your paths intertwine in just one moment.
“Meaningful connection is when we bravely share our truth.” ~ Michelle Maros
At times, it’s sitting right next to you, but you fail to recognize it, and when you do, it’s too late.
Strange thing, this connection.
How do you know whether a bind or connection that you have with someone is genuine or not?
Well, here are some things to watch out for that tell you that a connection is for keeps:
1. Conversations just flow.
You can talk to them about everything under the sun! From random, stupid movies to spirituality, there is no dearth of topics to talk about. Talking to them feels like a breeze. You feel safe, heard, and valued no matter what you say.
2. You can be your crazy, stupid, vulnerable self around them.
From being your serious to your ultra-stupid self, you can just be. Being with them is like being at home—in your comfort zone. You know that there is no judgement. Even when you think you’re not making any sense, to them, you are. They just “get” you in ways that no one else can. And on the days when you aren’t feeling like your best self or life is getting the better of you, there’s no one else you’d rather be with. You know that when you allow yourself to be vulnerable, they will see you and hold space for you—no questions asked.
3. Time just flies by.
When you’re with them, conversations flow, and time just flies. Before you realise, the entire day has gone by and it still doesn’t feel enough!
4. You hold each other in high regard.
The equation that you have with them is filled with a deep sense of respect and admiration for each other.
5. You know how to fight.
You make an effort to understand and be sensitive to each other’s triggers. No matter how challenging the fight may be, you still maintain that respect and regard for each other.
6. Your silences are not awkward.
Even when you have nothing to talk about, you’re still a part of each other’s space. This silence that engulfs the two of you at times is a calm, soothing one. Your silence is the space where you can be yourself in each other’s presence.
7. You understand each other’s needs.
Yes, you innately know what the other wants because your connection is such. The times when you don’t, you are willing to learn more about the other person and make efforts to meet their needs in the best way possible.
8. You are genuinely happy for each other.
There are no games; there’s no competition. You are genuinely interested and invested in each other’s well-being. When the other person does well or achieves something, you feel like it’s your victory as well.
9. You support each other whole-heartedly.
You are always there for each other—for encouragement, motivation, and support. You’re there on the good days to share the joy and stay even longer during the not so good ones. You hold their dreams and aspirations close to your heart and make sure to do whatever you can to support them.
10. You are sure about them in every way.
No matter how bad a fight has been, you don’t sit and question your feelings for them. You know what you feel and how much you value them, and a couple of bad fights or days aren’t enough to change that.
11. They push you to be better.
They’re always striving to bring out the best in you. They know when to let you sit in your comfort zone and when to push you out. They are aware of the infinite potential you have within you and always want the best for you.
Perhaps, the biggest sign of a genuine connection is that your heart knows.
It’s just the way you feel around them and with them—that has comfort, trust, and safety written all over it.
And that’s not just enough; that’s more than enough.
“There are some souls you connect with so much, you can hear the song inside them, even when they’re sleeping. Some souls connect with you so deep, they bring out the songs inside you, you never knew you had. ~ SC Lourie