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July 1, 2024

Why I Air my “Dirty Laundry” in Public.

{*Did you know you can write on Elephant? Here’s how—big changes: How to Write & Make Money or at least Be of Benefit on Elephant. ~ Waylon}

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After all this time, I still don’t consider myself to be a writer, although I have published a memoir, and once in a while I write articles for this amazing community, Elephant Journal.

The truth is, I am a daughter, sister, wife, mother, gramma, friend, and neighbor, just like all of you. Life happens, and I feel at times my journey and perspective might have a positive impact on someone else.

I read a comment not long ago that said, “You will be sorry someday for airing your dirty laundry in public.” One of my most valuable lessons I have learned is that I can’t live life with regret. That doesn’t mean I haven’t made mistakes or wish I had done things differently at times, but none of us can go back. We can only move forward.

What is dirty laundry? Messy. Unsightly. Stained. Filthy. Disheveled. Mucky. Untidy. Just like life sometimes.

I write and speak occasionally about topics that make some people uncomfortable. Alcoholism. Mental Illness. Unhealthy Family Relationships. Childhood Trauma. Even my own personal mental health breakdown and other subjects based on my own personal journey. Often, these things are hidden behind closed doors within families because of shame—which, in my opinion, is part of the problem and why these things often continue generation after generation.

As out-spoken as I am, there isn’t one experience I have reflected on, nor one word I have ever typed or spoken, that doesn’t come from a place of complete and utter love.

It is easy to forget that when we watch the news about someone, read a newspaper article, scroll online, or listen to a podcast that these are all real people. When we order popcorn and enjoy a night out to watch a movie based on a true story or read a memoir, these are intertwined with other family members. These stories are not always light and fluffy, filled with kittens and butterflies, but can still have such an emotional connection.

I can confidently say I am exceptionally proud of how far I have come. And it took a lot of time, focus, strength, and deep reflection to get here. Tears. Therapy. Exercise. Books. Healthy Diet. More Tears. More Therapy. Writing. Antidepressant medication. And most importantly, change.

My own life has been extraordinarily beautiful yet incredibly bumpy at times. We all have challenges to overcome adding to our own personal laundry baskets.

Any story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Some of the most meaningful stories have started as complicated, sad, unbelievable, tragic, and messy, turning into some of the greatest and most meaningful and powerful lessons I have ever learned. Sharing life’s experiences can change lives, and I personally could never have gotten to my healthy place without others who have been brave enough to share personal details about their lives.

The first thing I do each day is wake up early, pour myself a cup of freshly brewed coffee, snuggle tightly into my oversized living room chair, and read all my business and personal emails. It touches my heart when I receive messages, like yesterday, that in some small way my story has impacted someone else’s life.

“Hi Jodee, I have just read your book 4 months after my sister died of alcohol use disorder. Like you I have read many books about addiction, but no book has ever resonated such a similar journey as yours. I just wanted to say thank you, I am not sure how it helped exactly, but reading your book has definitely helped me in some way during this period of such deep grief. Thank you and hope you are well.”

When I was lost and needed understanding, courage, and inspiration, much of that came from embracing stories from other people. I hope in some small way, when I share my stories, my journey touches someone else’s heart and that they feel not so alone. Alone. It is what I felt for so long.

No one should ever be sorry or ashamed for doing what they need to do to live life on their terms, and that includes talking openly and honestly. I believe that is to be encouraged and celebrated.

What would I say to those who still believe this is nothing more than airing private dirty laundry? Absolutely nothing.

After all, another great lesson I have learned and live by is that the only person I have control over is me.

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