Being alone is not the same as being lonely.

If I had been told that sentence at age 11, I would have laughed at your face. Mostly because my teen years were some of the loneliest and most alienated years of my life.

So when I heard about people travelling alone in my 20s, the socially anxious child in me thought: what a great way to feel even lonelier. Going to a place where people know each other, and you come out of nowhere, expecting to magically fit in. Surely people will look at you weird the minute you step out of the plane.

For years, I let this fear hold me back. I convinced myself that solo travel wasn’t for me—that I simply wasn’t brave enough to take the leap.

That all changed the day I decided to ask a stranger for their favorite quote.

See, back in my early 20s, I was on a personal journey that started with unblocking traumas from the past and finding ways to anchor my newfound positivity with daily quotes I’d write down in a journal. I became obsessed with collecting the best ones and writing them on Post-its in my room.

In this journey within myself, I grew more and more comfortable with my aloneness. I took myself out to coffee dates with a book. I went roller skating alone in parks. And enjoyed the freedom of living alone. All because I had the quotes to remind me of what I needed to hear that day.

One night, a friend had invited me to a club. I was standing at the top of the stairs waiting for my coat as I was ready to leave, watching other people effortlessly talk to each other.

But something inside me shifted that night. I realized I wanted to be part of those moments of connection, not just an observer. So, I mustered all my courage, walked up to someone, and asked: “If you could share with me a quote, what would it be?”

To my surprise, their face lit up. They scribbled something on a piece of paper, handed it to me, and said, “This got me through some tough times.” I looked down and read: “Lean into the sharp points.” A sentence he picked up from yoga practice.

At that moment, something clicked. That simple act of connection—a serendipitous exchange—didn’t just break the ice; it shattered the barriers I had built around myself. It taught me that most people are open to meaningful interactions, and it gave me a new way to navigate the world: by collecting wisdom from strangers.

Building Confidence Through Connection

I had conquered a huge fear of mine that night, and as I continued this habit in my home city, I knew I was now ready to pick up this habit in a new place. I thought, I’m ready for this solo travelling.

So I chose the nearest destination I could reach by train, while still being able to say I left the country. Just in case I decided to turn back. And that’s how I boarded a two-hour train ride to Amsterdam, with my bike, the address of my couch-surfing host, and zero expectations. As I stepped out of the train and dissolved myself into the masses and the gray weather (nothing too foreign for a Belgian girl), I was instantly swept away by the thought that no one knew me here. And yet, it wasn’t anxiety that took over, but relief. I was a book no one had read yet. I felt like a child again, curious and approachable.

I approached a couple in a café, who ended up paying for my coffee. Later, I was stopped in the street by a boy who saw me cycle in the opposite direction, and we ended up spending the afternoon having more coffee and meeting some of his friends. Lastly, I joined my couch-surfing host—something I had never done before—and we immediately went into cooking, talking, and ending the night watching “Law & Order” as if I had already lived with him for many years. And as I recounted my journey to a friend, I realized that to be a traveler rather than a tourist was to be able to narrate a journey in encounters rather than in sights.

I felt my confidence grow. Each encounter reminded me that people are inherently kind and willing to share a part of themselves, even with a stranger.

Over the next 10 years, I collected over 300 handwritten quotes from people I met during my solo travels, as the travel bug had bitten me. Each encounter with strangers made my confidence grow and made me feel like loneliness (also when travelling) was a thing of the past.

These weren’t just random snippets of wisdom; they were windows into other people’s lives, shaped by their experiences, joys, and struggles. Some quotes were profound, like “Go not where you are tolerated but where you are celebrated,” while others were beautifully simple, like “When in doubt, smile and nod.” 

Every piece of advice felt like a thread connecting me to the global tapestry of humanity. Like a global vulnerability that we all shared.

But beyond the words, these interactions taught me something deeper about myself. They showed me that fear doesn’t have to define me—that bravery isn’t about being fearless, but about taking action despite the fear. I began to embrace what I now call “serendipitous courage”: the willingness to open yourself up to unexpected connections and trust that they’ll lead to something meaningful.

The Beauty of Solo Travel

As I became more comfortable striking up conversations, I started to see solo travel in a new light. What once felt intimidating now felt liberating. Traveling alone wasn’t about loneliness; it was about freedom. It gave me the space to move at my own pace, to linger in places that inspired me, in conversations that moved me, and to step outside my comfort zone in ways that a group dynamic might not allow.

Meeting strangers became one of the most rewarding parts of my journeys. I remember the retired nun in the Canary Islands who told me, “Do as I say, not as I do,” as she told me a moving story about her parents growing up, or the retired war veteran I met volunteering in Greece saying, “The older I get, the smarter my father gets.”

Each encounter enriched my travels, making every destination feel less like a place on a map, and more like a chapter in a shared human story. So after 10 years of collecting quotes and meaningful connections, I decided to make a book about it and set off on giving talks about the power of solo travel to different communities. Most of all, I wanted others to find themselves in these quotes. Quotes from random strangers.

Why Serendipitous Courage Matters

Serendipitous courage isn’t just about solo travel—it’s a mindset that can transform any aspect of life. It’s about taking small risks to connect, taking new streets in your own hometown—even when it feels scary or uncertain. It’s about trusting that something beautiful can come from the unexpected.

For me, this mindset has become a guiding principle. It’s helped me navigate not only my travels but also my relationships, my life abroad, my career, and my creative pursuits. When I look back, I realize that every meaningful connection I’ve made, every opportunity I’ve seized, started with a moment of serendipitous courage. To listen to that gut feeling that said, “Come on, give it a try.”

Your Turn: Embrace the Unknown

If you’ve ever felt the pull of solo travel but held back because of fear, let me tell you this: you are more capable than you think. You don’t need to have all the answers or be completely fearless. All you need is a willingness to take that first step and a little serendipitous courage.

Start small. The next time you’re in a coffee shop, ask the barista for their favorite piece of advice they’ve gotten. Or strike up a conversation with someone on a park bench and ask them about their biggest crush. Let those small acts of connection build your confidence, to step away from the trivial and toward the magic, one encounter at a time.

When you’re ready to take the leap into solo travel, remember that it’s not about being alone—it’s about being open. Open to the world, to its people, and to the unexpected moments that make life extraordinary. Pack your bags, embrace your fears, and step into the unknown. You never know who you might meet or what wisdom they might share.

And if you ever find yourself wondering whether you’re brave enough, just remember: Lean into the sharp points.

What about you, what is one serendipitous encounter you’ll never forget?

*You can read more from Lauren’s book, Last Words for the Road

~