I want to look into the eyes of Mother Meera.

On Wednesday, September 3, 2014, I went to look into the eyes of Mother Meera in Denver, Colorado and received darshan.

Darshan is a direct experience of the Divine through something that is not necessarily Divine. Mother Meera serves as a direct conduit for the Divine just letting it come through her.

Mother Meera, an incarnation of The Divine Mother, was born in Southern India in 1960. She currently travels the World, giving her silent darshan to thousands of devotees. Mother resides in German, and gives darshan there when she is not traveling. Mother works with The Paramatman Light, Pure Divine Energy. Mother is not here for any particular religion, practice or path. Mother is here for all paths and her darshan is for our eternal relationship with The Divine.

Over 20 years ago,I read an article about Mother Meera.

That was before I completed my degree that included a concentration in religious studies, where I learned about Hinduism and darshan, before my daughter was born, before my near death experience. And Mother Meera is only a few months older than I am, so we were both young things back then.

I remember being moved to tears simply by looking at the photos of her that accompanied the article. When I finished that article I had one solid thought.

I want to look into the eyes of Mother Meera one day.

It remained a sort of bucket list item for all those years—albeit, in the back of my mind, because I had chiefly forgotten about it until a few weeks ago when a Meetup group sent me an invitation to see her in Denver which is only an hour away.

Suddenly, the opportunity to fulfill this dream was a possibility. It felt almost surreal to think about. Excited, I alerted some girlfriends, told them about her, signed us up and we carpooled to Denver to see her.

They sent up one row at a time to see Mother Meera and we were about four rows from the front so we didn’t have long to wait. At the beginning, during the first few individuals, I could not watch her working.

I tried t, but it felt too intimate, too invasive for me to look upon the exchange. Instead, I closed my eyes in meditation/prayer or looked at the other supplicants.

At one point, after many people had progressed through the line, I was able to finally look upon her as she bestowed darshan to the person in front of her.

It was very obvious to me that she was not there at all. I could tell she had become empty and was functioning as the straw through which the Divine was flowing. She had this very loving but detached, far away, compassionate look on her face.

The energy in the room was palpable—but light and flowing. Talk was not allowed in the room—the silence and the energy of everyone joined in meditation/prayer/thought toward the same end was absolutely one of the most powerful things I had ever been a part of.

My heart was pounding in anticipation when our row was called to kneel before her and move, one-by-one, up the aisle and then onto the stage to finally kneel before her, bow our head for her to touch and then sit back on our heels to gaze at her.

I had spent the night before and then much of the morning in meditation, preparing myself to open to her and the Divine—wanting to be available to receive. I kept sending up a constant prayer of may I be open to receiving.

During those meditations and thinking about what Mother Meera would see if she really could, as all the sources said, see every part of me, down to and including my soul, I experienced some embarrassment—and even a type of shame.

I found it difficult to think about exposing myself to such inspection. If she could know everything I thought, had done and perhaps even what I would do in the future then I needed to prepare myself to allow that because the thought did not bring me comfort.

Rather, that thought brought fear.

I was full of fear at the thought of letting anyone see me at such a deep, raw depth that I knew she would be able to. But somewhere during all the thought I was expending toward this problem my meditations brought me to knowing that if she were truly Pure Divine Energy she would be incapable of judgment.

So, confident, not in my own cleanliness by any stretch but rather in her compassion to see me as whole no matter the crap that might be covering that up, I finally began to experience peace with the coming process.

Kneeling right beside her, as one of my friends received darshan, waiting my turn next, I could already feel the intensity of the energy—it was almost overwhelming and I had the scattered thought that I was going to be so nervous in front of her that I wouldn’t be able to remember anything.

When it was my turn I shuffled over in front of her on my knees—and I felt at peace. My heart no longer pounded, all thoughts left me.

I bowed my head for her touch, my hands on her feet and indeed, still cannot remember the feeling of her hands on my head. But when she removed her hands and I sat back on my heels, kneeling to look up at her, I experienced such desire and yearning as I have never known.

I yearned to receive all I could through her. I begged please with my energy, opening myself to her, giving her permission to enter—and then yes, please during the process.

Now that I think about it there was more of a drawing of the energy into me—like a sponge, in my desire to connect, to be healed and renewed, rather than an allowing. It was me grabbing the energy and sucking it down like a babe at the teat.

Hungry much? For that Divine, healing Energy? Always.

Even though her eyes are a beautiful dark brown the light coming through them seemed to be a light, brilliant greenish-blue.

When she lowered her eyes signifying the end of the session, I sent a sincere thank you to her and rose and descended the stage to return to my seat.

I felt light and airy. The entire room remained silent in mediation/prayer for the remainder of the bestowal. During that time of waiting and meditating I began to feel and understand why she is called mother.

I felt I was in the presence of The Divine Mother.

At one point, I kind of fell asleep in my chair and went into a dream that I cannot now consciously remember. It felt much removed from my usual dreams, but was reassuring, comforting.

The information we had read before our trip told us to not necessarily expect anything to happen at the actual darshan. They said it might take some time for things to shift.

I told my girlfriends that I believed in Mother Meera and that I was ready and willing to acknowledge healing of all kinds, on all levels, after seeing her.

The subsequent argument becomes—if you are gullible enough to believe such a thing is possible then you are in danger of having the placebo effect take over.

placebo effect
noun
1. A beneficial effect, produced by a placebo drug or treatment, that cannot be attributed to the properties of the placebo itself and must therefore be due to the patient’s belief in that treatment.

But who bloody cares why it happens?! If it’s good, loving, positive and healing I don’t care where it comes from.

I didn’t feel any shifts or specific healing that day, however I have had several things happen since then that are unusual for me.

I was working on processing through an issue between a me and a friend when I went to see Mother Meera. I was processing anger trying to find myself in that anger, trying to work my way to compassion about the situation—for me and him both.

After the session with her the anger seemed to have evaporated. It just suddenly felt so unnecessary for anger to even exist—about anything/one.

I had not planned to talk to my friend until the next day,but I found when I got home, that it was the exact thing I wanted to do. I suddenly wanted to be free of this issue, to feel peace in all areas of my life.

I called him and we ended up having a wonderful, real conversation that lasted almost two hours.

The most prevalent change I notice is the fact that I am peaceful and happy—all the time. I haven’t been able to stop smiling since darshan. Nothing seems to bother me—not for very long, at least.

Yesterday, I experienced how it feels to start from a place of discomfort, embarrassment and even shame and be able to move right into peace, letting the former discomfort inform and teach me.

It involves just sitting with the feeling and letting it be whatever it is without resisting and without attaching judgment to the emotions involved. It feels almost as simple as flipping a switch.

I am still amazed at how simple it is and how very quickly it can happen.

It is so very simple that I, of course, wonder how I have never been able to get from one to the other so quickly and simply. As with the lack of anger, it almost feels like embarrassment, shame and fear don’t even exist anymore—kinda freaky—and awesome!

This morning while pedaling my usual scenic bike trail to work, I was overcome with the sensation of being enough—of being worthy. For the first time ever—I felt not-lacking, complete.

As I pedaled and tried to catch my breath at the sudden whoosh of energy that seemed to come up and through me, I thought of the word rapture (the generic definition thereof) to describe the feeling.

I instantly felt how it feels to be loved without reservation—just because I happen to exist—and for no other reason. I was full and complete offered forgiveness and understanding in that instance. I felt replete.

I have no idea what else will show up because of the experience. I do know however, that I feel worthy of receiving good, healing things—anything, everything—that might make itself known to me.

 I say bring it.

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Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photos: wikipedia