Adult content ahead! 

Author’s note: NSF family, colleagues, clergy, possibly friends, definitely not partners of friends. Basically NSF anyone that feels there is such a thing as TMI about yours truly. Oh right…and probably just generally NSFW for the general public. 

When I became sexually active, I made myself as bare down there as a baby’s ass.

Why?

Because most guys found that “look” the sexiest and frankly, it was all the same to me back then. Not so with my gynocologist who scolded me “This is not healthy. There is hair there for a reason.”

I shrugged while mentally booking my next wax. But at that time, I did lots of things that weren’t healthy for me.

I wasn’t my priority, and pleasing my male partner was.

Eventually—though admittedly much later—I became my own priority and did with my body whatever made sense to me. Though the men I’ve been with were cool with whatevs, if pressed, their preference regarding pubes was the less, the better.

Easier access, some would argue.

But we all know better. Practicality is not what hard-ons are made of. If that were the case, Martha Stewart’s home collection would be prime jack-off material.

Most hetero hard-ons are significantly influenced by the current primped, plucked, plastic, “perfect,” western standard of female beauty. And a guy who prefers your body the way nature intended despite the incessant brainwashing compelling him to prefer a bald-from-the-eyebrows down (read: unnatural, unhealthy, arguably bizarre) version of woman? This is a guy that thinks for himself and in so doing, finds that he is turned on by women that actually look like women.

This is a guy you should date.

A guy who loves your bush is a guy who is comfortable in his own skin, with being human. And he expects the same from you—including unleashing your unfiltered, uninhibited, ravenous horny beast who exists as just one of many glorious parts of you, a human being, a sexual being.

Don’t bother rehearsing, revising, editing yourself with this dude—he will call you on it. He doesn’t want a primped, proper, polite, “perfect” version of you. He ain’t looking for practical. Nor does he want the always ready and down for whatever whenever however actress version of you.

He ain’t looking for porn, either.

He won’t settle for anything less than the raw, dirty, funny, sweaty, timid, adamant, challenging, unapologetic complex version of you—the real you.

This is a guy who challenges the status quo. He thinks outside the—err, box. You will find yourself debating with him. You will need to justify your opinions. You will start to ask yourself deeper questions.

You will have the same answers with stronger reasons and new answers with better reasons.

You will grow, you will evolve.

You may even think twice about why you pay someone to violently rip hot wax off of your poor sweet sensitive lady parts.

This guy appreciates the female body and so does not make a bee line straight to the obvious erogenous zones. This guy takes his time getting to know all of you—he experiments, he’s curious. He wants to know what you like, don’t like, want, don’t want.

He wants to know you.

This guy doesn’t get awkward when there are missteps—If there’s a funny sound or if someone falls off of the bed or pulls a muscle or if something tickles when that’s not exactly the intended response. He doesn’t care if something *gasp* human happens.

He’s at best a laugher and at worst a shrugger, and hardly ever a cringer.

This is a guy who will introduce you to new things. Because he is not afraid of missteps, he is brave enough to venture outside of his comfort zone. If you roll with him you will likely step outside of yours too. And you will find yourself scared, excited, delighted, and never bored.

This guy is cool with the unplanned, the spontaneous, the unexpected.

He sees life not as something to be tamed, quieted, controlled or kneaded into a neat little ball that sits obediently on a shelf, dusted off every once in a while. Life to him is a beautiful messy spill that he delightfully rolls around in every day. And if you’re lucky enough to date him, you will find yourself rolling around in that beautiful perfect mess too.

Bonus: It’s just further justification to cancel your Brazilian and spend the money on good food and wine instead. You know you want to.

Relephant Reads:  

Female Body Hair: The Final Taboo? 

Your Ugly V is Normal & Gorgeous

10 Things Real Men Do

Love elephant and want to go steady?

Sign up for our (curated) daily and weekly newsletters!

Author: Jenny Spitzer

Editor: Renée Picard

Photo: Helga Weber at Flickr