One of the Best Basic Relationship Tips…

…was offered up to me by my best friend, Dave, years ago.

I was bemoaning how whenever I was “nice,” insecure or vulnerable, girls didn’t find me attractive. And whenever I was loud and silly and troublemaking, they loved me. It was frustrating. This seems to be a general rule for many of us: “nice guys finish last,” or, more maturely, when we’re down, when we need a little love most, we’re least magnetizing to that affection.

And my best buddy Dave said, simply, “look, Waylon. If someone isn’t into you when you’re just raw and open and sad and you, then that says more about them and their maturity. You don’t want a girl who’s just into you when you’re high on life. You want someone who likes you for you, just plain old you, up or down.”

And it was obvious, in the way truths sound obvious when you first get them.

The other wonderful relationship truth that stuck with me was a Buddhist one, from one Sherab Kohn. He’s a great jolly wise old Buddhist man, and he’s been married for many years. And though he and his lovely wife have been married for many years, they still have that tender, fun and evident affection for one another. And he said…well, I did a little rough video for you on it, if you’re curious.

I’ve been thinking about that first truth because I’ve felt raw, vulnerable, and grateful, lately—friends and community have been saying wonderful kind generous sweet things about me. Which is kinda a rare experience: our culture doesn’t go in for saying kind things about people, usually.

It’s been a bit like getting to be present at one’s funeral. The occasion? My first book, which launched on Kickstarter and has been named a “Staff Pick.” Our 3rd goal (which is the most important one) appears out of reach, but you can help get there, here. Get a book, a mug, a tee shirt, a magnet, a bookmark, a lapel pin, an ebook or audiobook, or just check out the video. There’s 10 days left, and it’s going wonderfully so far.

My first book! It’s a big one for me. We all have life goals that we fear we may never surmount. But with help from my friends—I may have climbed this particular mountain. Without help? I couldn’t have done it.

This newsletter message is just a personal one—but I’m feeling, well, personally excited and grateful. So, thank you, all and may your week be filled with ease and benefit for all.

Yours in the Vision of an Enlightened Society,

Waylon Lewis
Editor-in-Chief: elephant journal; host: Walk the Talk Show

Readership: 18.8 million readers a month
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On Instagram? ‪Join in: #‎108mindfulmoments‬ — Join @waylonlewis, @walkthetalkshow, and @elephantjournal in sharing 1 moment a day from your next 108 days that inspire you. Can be anything: yoga, family, local food, bicycling or walking, adventure, travel, a beautiful moment, service, activism…as long as it furthers mindfulness and awareness. Hashtag #108mindfulmoments and cc copypaste @elephantjournal @walkthetalkshow @waylonlewis so we can follow your offerings. Weekly winners will get a gift subscription to elephant to use or give to a loved one–we’ll notify winners who tag us in your Instagram comments. Let’s spread the mindful life beyond our choir!

Indie elephant grows: this month I am proud to say that I can’t take much credit for our new readership record: 18 million readers/month.

Elephant Books launches: to pay writers right, and do so environmentally-responsibly while supporting quality jobs: whether ebooks or print on eco-paper in the USA. Our first out of the gate, our guinea pig: my first book, Things I Would Like to Do with You has launched on Kickstarter (where it has been named a Staff Pick).