I noticed a small blue earring in his ear
and had the fantasy of replacing it
with a ruby

(of course, I could do that—it was my fantasy).

And then I thought,
but a ruby isn’t enough
it must be more precious
more rare

It was, after all, an offering.

(He sounds like a god of some sort to you, my analyst had said.
But he is a god to me, I objected, and I must worship him.)

I went on.
Even a diamond was not right
for it was the wrong color

I saw a grey pearl
cultured
a thousand years old.
It shone pearly
and ocean green
and was slightly
asymmetrical in its antiquity.

Perfect.

The right color for his skin.
The right color for his eyes.

And then I was back at the bar in Carmel
and you were there
with the blue earring in your ear
and you sat there
drinking your drink
not knowing at all that
I would bring you
diamonds and pearls

Not knowing at all that you are a god to me

Not knowing at all
the life and death nature
of your place in my life

Ah well.
So long as you can stand it
We can go on
just the way it is

and just like everybody else
call it a relationship.

~

Author: Carmelene Siani

Editor: Caroline Beaton

Photo: Flickr