Walking away from my marriage was one of the most difficult and bravest things I’ve ever done.

It was hard to know the “right” time to leave, if there ever is one. It was harder to figure out what I wanted my life to be when I had been so terribly wrong the first time round.

When a relationship ends it is easy to fall into bad habits and lose sight of who we are. The best thing we can do is find ways to pick ourselves up and remind ourselves that usually, we are better off.

Finding yourself after any sort of big life change is an intricate balance of learning to let go of the things that aren’t good enough, and filling your life with the things that are.

The following is the first in a series of poems that illustrates the brokenness as well as strength and resilience that comes through taking control and taking one’s life back.

Atlas

You handed me an atlas
And told me you’d take me anywhere
I wanted to go.

That’s how I ended up sitting watching the sunrise
In the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen.
In that moment,
My heart shattered
And I cried
Because it was everything,
But it wasn’t enough.

You whisked me away to far off places,
Mediterranean beaches and ancient city streets,

But all I wanted was for you to take the time
To hear about what was on my mind.

I wanted you to uncover my secret places
The way we explored foreign cities.

I wanted you to throw away your well-researched guide book
That told you how love was supposed to be
And navigate the broken, war-torn streets of my mind and heart.
And I wanted to do the same for you.

But you had no interest in taking this trip with me
Because it didn’t come with a passport stamp
Or a first class upgrade.

So I had to let you go.

~

Author: Michelle Carpenter
Image: MartinaK/Flickr
Editor: Lieselle Davidson