So recently I was a part of a leadership program and the 1st topic we discussed was communication which is in itself a vast subject. Para language, theories of communication , life positions and ego states.
What struck me most was how our communication with ourselves and the external world has an underlying cause with our childhood.
We communicate the same way as our parents used to communicate with us and the behavioural pattern remains the same.Ofcourse we do try to change it consciously but unconsciously the outcome is highly influenced.
The way we are is the outcome of how our parenting was done.It gets programmed in us and takes a huge time and effort to reform it. Say for example I was not allowed to sleep much.Getting up early was the thing for my parents and during my teens I definitely rebelled but ultimately gave in.Now when I have a daughter I make it a point that she sleeps as much as she wants, however I have not been able to change the same for me!! No matter how much tired I am, I cant sleep in the afternoon and have a habit of sleeping less or feel guilty if I have overslept.
Our Parents must have had a reasoning for their behavioural pattern but the programming happened ,which might remain the same throughout our lives.
This made me think no one prepares us to take up the role of a parent. We are just told you will learn in due course of time. The solution to this I presume is there should be a Parental training program before you embark on this journey of being a parent.
Trust me there will be a lot to learn like how do you manage an aggressive toddler who doesn’t listen to you, how do you make a very silent or not so friendly kid talk? How do you understand the behavioural concepts as what exactly are they trying to convey when they say or do something.How should you react to it?
The first 7 years of a kid is said to be highly important as whatever they learn it gets imbibed in their nature. When we can take management programs to earn a good living before we start our lives why not a parental program before we shape another beings future.. Food for thought.
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