Long term solo travel can set you on a new personal growth trajectory, or make your come to your knees. There have been so many moments for me when I nearly threw up my arms and said fuck it. I’ve had enough. I’m going home. Insane travel delays, missed flights and connections, almost losing my passport, getting ripped off, leaving belongings in places I’ll probably never see again… It had me asking what I call the W list.

What the F am I doing? (all time fav)

Why am I here?

Where do I want to be?

I have always recharged on alone time, but solo travel was some next level solitude for me. Most travelers enjoy socializing and make friends in hostels, but it usually revolves around alcohol and I don’t drink so it doesn’t appeal to me. Don’t get me wrong, I have had amazing, interesting conversations and connections with loads of awesome people, but I was mostly doing my own thing.

I knew this was an opportunity for a spiritual deep dive, and I just live for that shit. I intuitively came to the conclusion that I had to have my own back, that I had to support myself in a way I haven’t before. If I was going to make it weeks on my own in Asia, I was going to have to be my best friend. Hard core.

While teaching a yoga class at a retreat center in Cambodia, I had an epic new awareness about myself. There I was teaching a class, like I had hundreds of times before, but because I was in a new environment, teaching new yogis, I was watching myself teach through a new lens. I thought I new what my purpose was for awhile now, but it became crystal clear, more refined.

Spirit flooded my senses and showed me that I was a leader, a guide, a coach, an instructor, a mentor and a cheerleader. She came at me hard and fast, pimp slapped me and was like, yea dude-this is your genius, stop denying it. I had this palpable physical sensation of coming into a deeper alignment. For me its like an invisible gust of wind that washes over me. There was all of this tingly sensation. If you haven’t ever felt something like this before, well, its an elated, blissful moment.

I knew what I had to do next, but Babs(my fraud syndrome)launched into how I am not good enough, or qualified enough for transformational coaching.

And then there was my new ultimate bestie, Donna Jean, swooping in, having my back, and encouraging me the way a bestie would. In creating my new business, there have been tons of digital tasks that I don’t know how to do. Sweet Jesus. I am a 15 year veteran hairdresser, I mean I am still trying to get the hang of sending out a news letter. And trying to understand SEO? Ugh.

Babs began yapping at me again, trying to get me caught up in her bs, and many times she succeeds. She said, see, I told you. You don’t know what you are doing. You should just go back home to safety and security, go back to what you know. You will fail, be a joke show, might as well bail now.

And there she was again. Donna Jean was like look dude. There are skills that you will have to develop, we are all beginners at something, aren’t we? And all of a sudden I had new friends appear in my life, offering incredible, valuable help. We connected immediately. Divine intelligence was supporting me in my new endeavor. There were synchronicities everywhere, and these were all confirmation that I was stepping into my ultimate truth.

My daughter busts me all of the time when she catches me talking to myself. Its pretty hilarious. Now I just say, Babs and Donna Jean are having a meeting. Let them work it out.

So far, I think my greatest discovery in the last six months is deepening my relationship to myself is what propels me further. Seeing on a new level that I was ready to go further. I had to become my own champion. I see now, if I don’t do this, my life will be just mediocre, and just ok.

And I’m just not down with that.

NAMASLAY