Everything that exists around us was created by people

These words of Steve Jobs make literal reference to everything that surrounds us, from everyday material objects to our paradigms and beliefs. The world we know as real is the creation of people like you and me.

Everything that surrounds us; love, money, the concept of success are all creations of people who are imposed due to culture and social acceptance. But really, what is the importance of these standards? They are so important because what we conceive as reality is the sum of these cultural paradigms plus the immovable physical laws of the universe.

Let us identify what is the difference between the two kinds of rules that constitute our reality. The physical rules of the universe are these natural phenomena that we do not control. We can understand them, study and experiment, they are alien to us. For example, the force of gravity, or the biological process of death. Cultural norms are those sociocultural creations that define our behaviors and create our paradigms. From these you can answer questions such as: What is a success ?, How we live love?, What is wealth?. The sum of these two kinds of rules that exist in our mind creates our reality.

These paradigms are born in our minds in different ways.

Let’s start from the root to understand more about these cultural norms. These paradigms are born in our minds in different ways. First; instructions of our childhood. The main cultural formation is imparted by our family and our first social groups create marks in our minds both consciously and unconsciously. Example “boys do not cry”, “girls play with dolls” among many others. The second root is one’s insecurities, fears that are created through our personal experiences, such as previous personal relationships or professional failures. The third way in which we adopt these standards are our role models, people we admire or consider successful. From their stories and experiences, we mold rules and welcome them as part of our reality, hoping that by following their patterns we will achieve the same results. The last one is the social pressure or necessity of belonging, norms so ingrained to the society that we adopt them unconsciously, for example, the value of money or the perception of being successful.

If we understand that personal reality depends on us and exists from our mind. We can face these rules that lead us to the “I must” example: I must study that career, I must form this kind of family, and so on. To transform them into favorable paradigms for our life. Three key questions allow us to evaluate them. To understand and if it is necessary to reinvent, not to live in a prison of cultural rules, but to have a cultural reality that allows us to be the best version of us.

Three key questions allow us to evaluate them.

First, is this rule based on a positive aspect? Or it is only a source of restrictions and impediments. Second, is it an absolute reality or is it a cultural norm? This question will let you know if you mentally have power over this rule or is a physical characteristic of the universe. Third and last, does the standard facilitate my happiness? What does this mean? Is this paradigm focused on facilitating my development and fullness, or on the contrary it is a negative anchor? For example “I will be happy only when I have one thousand dollars on my bank account”.

The invitation is to take any paradigm you have in your mind and put it to the test with these three questions. For your beliefs to be positive and allow you to live for your happiness you must have positive answers in question one and three. In question number two the answer will help you to know if. You can change the norm or if it is a physical rule of the universe how to react to ensure that you are the one in control.

A piece of last advice not to fall into unconsciousness about these rules. Remember all your rules should be in harmony with the golden rule of the universe: “treat others as you wish to be treated.” This rule will allow the balance between your reality, the reality of others and the universe.

I invite you not to be a slave to cultural norms. Create a reality that based on your beliefs, allow you to liberate the best version of your being.