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A post shared by annie miteva (@_minimalista) on Aug 23, 2018 at 6:23pm PDT

*Warning! Naughty language ahead. 

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Sorry I didn’t message you back
I’ve been busy
So fucking busy
And by busy I mean trying to shrink my body
By trying to shrink my body I mean trying to look as sick as I feel
By trying to look as sick as I feel I mean begging the world to believe my pain
The chronic stabbing pain in my heart
How can I feel so invisible in such a large body
Everyone stares but no one notices anything but how much physical space I occupy
The literal elephant in the room no one wants to mention
I like it when my stomach growls loudly in public so people know even though I’m fat I’m also starving.

The only people I’ve ever attracted are desperate men with a fat girl fetish
The only people I’ve ever attracted are a niche group of men on the internet with a fat kink who call me an ugly bitch when I reject them
The only people I’ve ever attracted don’t think of me as a person at all.

I’m bad at math but I can tell you the number of Weight Watchers points in any food or drink
I’m bad at math but I can tell you how many extra calories you can burn by fidgeting in your seat compared to sitting still
Someone please tell me
Just tell me
How do I carry so much weight but not an ounce of confidence?

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