I love you. I miss you.

Christmas was your favorite time of the year.

Our tradition was that on this day we would start decorating our home. It doesn’t matter on what corner of the Earth that home was. Even when we only had popcorn and crepe paper to decorate, we made the best of it.

You never complained and always had your big smile that could also be seen through your eyes. You always showed your love to all.

I love you. I miss you.

We always made an effort of creating special and precious gifts for Christmas. Once, our decorations stayed until February.

You loved Christmastime more than your birthday. You loved the joy. You loved the spirit. You loved teaching your sister all this.

I love you. I miss you.

It is a difficult time for me.

Sometimes, silent tears just roll down my face. But still, I wake up, I show up, and I never give up. I am a mother.

I love you. I miss you.

Tell me, why do I feel you sometimes so strongly? Why do I sense you? Smell you? Feel that breeze, sometimes?

Someone told me that I am lucky that I can feel you. Lucky?

Tell me, how am I lucky?

I love you. I miss you.

This photo was your gift to me for Christmas, while my gift to you was the skydiving experience.

You know, Anita, after all…maybe I am lucky. I turned pain into purpose. I choose to love the happiness in research, developing new products, and working. I still choose to love the Christmas spirit, to love the joyfulness, and to spread kindness.

If anything, I’m persistent. Consistency is the key.

I choose hope and love.

I miss you. I love you.