In Buddhist psychology there is a term that could be translated as ‘internal formations’, ‘fetters’ or ‘knots’. When we have a sensory input, depending on how we receive it, a knot may be tied in us. If someone speaks unkindly to us and we don’t understand why and are irritated, a knot is tied in us. If we understand why, there will be no knot. The absence of clear understanding is the basis for every knot.

In practising full awareness, we can recognise internal formations as soon as they are formed and find ways to transform them. For example, a wife hears her husband boasting at a party, and feels the formation of a lack of respect. If she discusses this with her husband, they may come to a clear understanding, and the knot in her will be untied easily. Internal formations need our attention as soon as they manifest, while they are still weak, for any transformation to happen.

If we ignore the knots when they form, they will grow tighter and stronger. Our conscious, reasoning mind knows that negative feelings such as anger, fear and regret are not wholly acceptable to us or society. So, it finds ways to repress them and push them into remote areas of our consciousness to forget them. We create defence mechanisms that deny the existence of these negative feelings and give ourselves the impression that we have peace within us. But our internal formations are looking for ways to manifest as destructive images, feelings, thoughts, words, or behaviour.

First, to address these formations, become aware of them. Then, by mindful breathing, gain access to knots inside us and become aware of our images, feelings, thoughts, words and behaviour. We can ask ourselves: Why did i feel uncomfortable when i heard this? Why did i say this? Why didn’t i like that character in the movie? Who did i hate in the past whom they resemble? Such observations can gradually bring the internal formations that are buried in us into the realm of the conscious mind.

In meditation, when we close the doors and windows of sensory input, the internal formations buried inside us sometimes reveal themselves as images, feelings or thoughts. We experience a feeling of anxiety, fear, or unpleasantness whose reason we cannot understand. We then can shine the light of our mindfulness on it, and prepare ourselves to see this image, feeling, or thought, in all its complexity.

As we become aware of these, they may gather strength and become more intense. We may want to move our attention to another object of meditation or discontinue the meditation altogether. We fear we will suffer as we bring our conscious mind to feelings of pain. But the practice of breathing and smiling will allow us to sit still and observe our fears. As we continue to breathe, to smile, we can say, “Hello, Fear.  Here you are again.”

By living in this awakened way, we become aware of our feelings and perceptions in the present moment. By observing our feelings, we find the roots of long-standing internal formations and transform them, even those that have become quite strong. We do not let knots form or become tighter in our consciousness