The past 3 years or so I’ve been healing, growing…changing. Ultimately, the goal is to find a harmonious living space somewhere within the golden triangle of humanity: Spirit, Body & Mind. This is what I’ve learned so far:

Learning to live in harmony with yourself is a struggle. You wouldn’t think there would be much fighting in the battle for self love, but there is. It’s almost as if up until you make the conscious decision to try to balance your life you’re living with a veil over your eyes. Not necessarily denial just truth shrouded in fog. Then suddenly, you dive in full force! You’re in the middle of a raging hurricane trying not to drown in the chaos. Looking around wildly, you find some semblance of footing for yourself just long enough to find the reins to this immeasurable best you’ve unleashed, and you begin to tame it little by little. When the storm finally calms, the dust settles and you find yourself victorious on a mountain. Heaving for breath, and a complete sweaty hot mess, you look down at your feet to discover the mountain is made of the debris of your entire being. Looking around you begin to see something shiny, something colorful, something sturdy, something pivotal. You collect these things, like a magpie, not knowing exactly what you’ll do with them. All the while feeling as though they are more important than all the other debris you pass by. Some time later, you have just enough to make something. It could be decorative- choosing something about yourself to transform. It could be useful like a broom to sweep all the shit you no longer need out of your way. It could be windows to let in the light of others’ wisdom. Slowly, you begin to rebuild yourself and your surroundings and you feel just a little more “You,” and you feel like you’re building a home within yourself.

Is it an anthill that will keep getting flooded and kicked over? Will it ever be a palace?

“Its the not the Destination, It’s the journey.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson