When we’re growing up, it can be hard to distinguish good parenting from bad.

When we’re kids, how are we supposed to know any better?

How are we supposed to realize that the people we idolize most, who are there to care for us, are actually acting in a toxic way?

In our early years, we generally believe everything our parents tell us. And, if we’re unlucky, this ends up causing a whole lot of damage.

This might lead us to struggle with identity, or self-worth, or relationships—or our own parenting down the road.

So, it’s important that we’re able to identify the most toxic parenting behaviors.

Here are eight common toxic things that parents say to their children: