I hate money!

Let me say that again.

I Andrew Mellon hate money. I just found out how much it costs to get a book published. The minimum was like 2 thousand dollars. I cannot afford that in no way shape or form(I am not using this piece to ask for money….I’m just whining!!). That sucks. As I said before I hate money!

It’s not money I hate…its MY lack of money! And the fact that I earn “peanuts” as my wife puts it when she’s mad.  In reality i don’t earn that little and I realise I am lucky to have a job in these times of Global uncertainty.

And here’s where my mental health problems take the wheel and steer me towards ” Your book wasn’t good enough anyway” and ” no one would buy your book” and “Remember that time you went into the women toilet instead of the men’s at that nature park?” That last one has nothing to do with my abilities as an author but it’s what my brain does!

It will take so much impulse control not to delete the 20 fiction stories I have on my phone and family iPad. I think it’s a case of writing being a hobby and not something I can make a career out of.

If I could give my kids one piece of advice. Go to university or college. Get a degree. Get a good paying job. Then you will have money when you get inspired to write a book and you can publish the damn thing.

It’s just a dream that will never be fulfilled and that’s just life.