January 26, 2021

Through Me, With Me, In Me: the Religion of Motherhood.

I was young and didn’t know religion.

I worshiped only my youth,

And the sun,

And scoffed at the idea there could be anything more.

I spent my days entwined in myself and believed this was the dream.

I studied my interests,

And travelled my bucket list,

And stretched my body on the hottest sands.

My body belonged to me alone,

But in it I felt uneasy;

My feet were planted on the ground, but I was not rooted.

My legs carried me where I wanted to go, but I had no direction.

My hips were supple yet lacked sensuality.

The skin across my belly pulled tight, but yearned to relax.

My heart beat in my chest, but without vitality.

My neck was upright and alert, yet felt the urge to tilt.

My arms were free and nimble and able to carry whatever I pleased, but ached to be weighted.

My ears heard the song of a million different birds, but strained for another call.

And my eyes, my eyes had seen the magnificence of the soft light of a golden summer morning,

The brilliance of pristine white mountains from the sky,

The diamond glare of a Mediterranean sun reflecting off a turquoise sea.

But they had never met with something more beautiful than you.

You came as a surprise, although I didn’t admit that to anyone other than myself.

In hindsight, I called you in;

The ultimate manifestation.

I had a reading from an astrologist because I was feeling empty.

She told me I was on the right track and that this was my year of expansion.

Nothing felt further from the truth and I chalked her up as a fraud.

Turns out, you were written in my stars.

For you, I became rooted so deeply that I would never sway or falter during any storm.

My legs strode confidently along a path, now so clearly visible that I could not believe I had ever wandered elsewhere before.

A sensuality fell over my now-womanly body in an almost godlike veil, connecting me to the heavens.

My belly swelled, then settled, relaxing my very being into a soft haven for you to nestle.

My heart beat with a profound energy,

And in time with yours.

My neck bent softly so I could breathe you in.

My arms, once so busy, now clung dearly to the only thing they would ever reach for again.

My ears were blessed with your angelic voice.

And my eyes, my eyes now held in their gaze all the mysticism of the universe,

Which I now entirely understood.

My body once belonged to me alone,

But in it I felt uneasy.

Then there came you.

Through me,

With me,

In me.

The unity of our spirits.

Honor and glory are mine

As your mother,

Forever and ever.

I worship the minutes of witnessing you,

And the very air that you breathe.

Now, I know religion.


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