C-pstd or complex pstd is caused by an extremely traumatic event or continuous events that happened over a space of time.

I myself have C-Pstd to learn my story read my other post on My childhood trauma & how I’m working to over it. But for this post please find 10 things people with trauma will do in a relationship & to overcome it.

1. Lie

we lie not because we are bad people or want to hurt you. But more often than not its white lies to either hide our pain or to protect you from what we believe will be too much. lying has become our way of hiding & protecting ourselves from being hurt anymore

2. Trying to hard then not at all.

This one is a tricky one. we fall in love hard we will put in a lot of effort & really want to make you happy & smile. But when things are good we 2nd guess ourselves & test you we fight or push you away because we don’t believe we are worth your love.

3.Trust issues/overthinking

Trust issues are a big one. we might know that we can trust you but given our past of being hurt by people we trust. We will also have doubts & be on guard. 2nd guessing real motives & finding our own meanings in things.

4.Self-esteem issues

We lack self-esteem lack self-worth & it will show in time. we will be fine one day then you’ll notice we don’t apply for the promotion or won’t want to go to the party. we will have very friends outside of the relationship. we spend years not liking ourselves that isn’t easy to overcome.we lack social skills

5. we do love you but don’t know how to show it

We love you or we wouldn’t put ourselves in the position to love. we have been hurt on a level that people won’t understand. But we love you with all our heart & us testing you or pushing you always will only be because we love you so much that we don’t believe we deserve you. It’s not fair of us to bleed on the people that didn’t cause the pain.

6. Emotional issues

This one is the big one. when we lose you which in most cases we will because we haven’t healed enough. We act like children we will cry we will beg & it won’t be pretty. we will lost touch with reality & act like hurt little children. It’s because we love you & now feel abandon on every level & we prove ourselves right. we didn’t get to build emotional strength as a child. our inner child went through hell so we just pushed it down. we lack emotional regulation skills.

How to overcome this.

Telling our story so you understand what has happened to us. being patient & supporting us on the journey of recovery or leave protect yourself take care of your own mental health because we need to accept responsibility for our actions. We didn’t ask for this to happen to us but neither did you. Only the person with the issue can truly fix it & we need to become our own hero Therapy DBT & CBT mediation have all helped me take ownership of ourselves.

It’s a long road to healing & a journey that will test every relationship & I believe it a journey worth taking together if you can if you have the strength. Because we do love you & we don’t want to lose you. Our actions sometimes don’t match our words we are lost scared but don’t need you to save us or be our parent we just need support & understanding whilst we heal & grow

Taking responsibility for our lives & healing you will see the person you love grow into so much more.