Guys, Here’s the Sexiest Thing you can give your Woman for Valentine’s Day (& 5 Ideas for Pulling it Off).

Girls, listen up for a minute:

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. I wonder if that makes your guy’s palms a little sweaty? I wonder if he’s feeling like he has to meet some unrealistic “love expectations?”

What will he gift you with this year? He likely wants to choose something with some sweetness, yes. He’ll want it to be sexy too. He’s hoping to look studly yet sensitive.

I’m mostly just making my best guess at all of this because, let’s face it, I’m not a guy. So how can I counsel your guy about, well, how to be a better guy on Valentine’s Day?

In spite of my lack of qualifications, I want to give it a try.

Here’s what I want to tell him about choosing the perfect, most sexy gift.

The perfect gift is you.

Dearest Guys:

That’s right. The perfect gift is you. But we don’t mean you in your best, most perfect facade. It’s your more sensitive, vulnerable side, we long to see. That part of you that may be deeply hidden away.

Here’s the secret. Women love it when you’re vulnerable. Vulnerability is sexy. We love it when you let us see your vulnerable side. That is intimate, and intimacy is sexy. Very sexy.

I’m not talking about the intimacy of two naked, sweaty bodies sharing pleasure. That’s sexy for sure.

But it’s the intimacy of vulnerability that truly makes us weak in the knees.

Men are expected to suck it up. Shouldn’t cry. Shouldn’t talk about your feelings. You’re taught to be the strength in the relationship. You have to keep it together at all costs.

It’s time we called bullsh*t to all of that, don’t you think?

We know there is a sensitive soul underneath that manly veneer and we want to know him. Really, really know him.

We long for intimate conversations about how you’re feeling. We want to be able to hold you and comfort you when you cry. We love knowing that you trust us with your heart. We long to face the scary things with you and help you face all the emotions that arise. We want to hear you tell us that you’re sometimes frightened, sometimes sad.

All of this probably feels kind of scary. It’s always challenging to let someone really see us. We, women, are frightened by that too.

But think about it for a minute. Maybe letting down your guard and allowing yourself to become vulnerable might actually feel kind of liberating.

Would you like to give it a try? Put a toe in the water of vulnerability for Valentine’s Day?

Here are some things I thought of that you might try:

Write her a letter

Take some time to be alone with your thoughts. Think about the history of your relationship and tell her, in a letter, all the things you love about your life together. If there have been bumps in the road, it’s okay to tell her your feelings about those too. Just speak from the heart. I promise you, she’ll tuck it into her treasure box and keep it forever.

Cook dinner for her

It’s the wrong time to try to go out for a romantic dinner, you know, Covid and all. But I’ll bet she would love it if you surprised her by cooking dinner for her at home. Even if you have no cooking skills. What if you tried something simple? Something you made with love. And as you’re eating your meal, pull out that sweet vulnerability card and tell her all the ways she makes you weak in the knees.

Create a playlist of your relationship

What songs are meaningful to you both? I’ll bet you have a song that you consider “your song.” If you’re married, what songs played at your wedding? Take some time to compile a playlist of your relationship and play it for her on Valentine’s Day. Then (here’s the important part) talk to her about how it made you feel to make this for her, and how you feel listening to it with her. Talk about what memories it brings up.

Tell her why you fell in love with her

Here’s an opportunity for a different kind of letter. This one simply tells her all the reasons why you fell in love with her. And maybe how that love has grown over the years. Read it out loud to her. She’ll love hearing your tender words.

Arrange to watch a couple of romantic movies together

Do you always watch action or sci-fi? Why not surprise her and rent a couple of romantic movies. Search for some on Rotten Tomatoes. Choose those that are well-rated and not just schlocky. Maybe she has some favorites. Rent them. Watch them together. And don’t hold back the tears if they move you.

Remember, we’re going for vulnerability here.

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