I like masturbation, a lot.

Even when in relationship with a partner, I relish those moments that unfold freedom to disrobe seductively and embark on a solo journey into sensual ecstasy and orgasmic bliss, slowly sliding into a portal of unbridled pleasure; a pornographic portal to an alternate universe, where imagination and fantasy collide onto the canvas of universe and life energy.

Let’s keep it real, Pornhub can do the job rather quickly—at least that’s what a friend told me…wink, wink. I used to use a cognitive framework of preconceived images depicting archaic and one-dimensional sex where imagination is stale and orgasms feel forced like when you turn the crank of a jack in the box—pun intended—knowing that it will, eventually, due to mechanics, have to pop up for one millisecond of release before retreating back into the shadows.

Porn keeps us stagnant and locked behind bars of outdated pathways to plastic Barbie doll pleasure. Next time you orgasm after watching porn, notice the film of regret and emptiness covering your body and soul; a hollowness that feels lonely and mechanistic. I would often dissociate during porn sessions as if I had to fragment my authentic self and plug into a preprogrammed matrix of a sexual digital download.

I have always moved to the natural rhythm of a universal pulse; the existential symphony of creation and percussion of the night—strings of creatures, the brass section of sun, and the woodwinds of weather.

I am the one who pauses to hear soft messages whispered in the winds, take note of ominous warnings from dark, supple clouds of forbidden desires. Yep, I am a sensual freak—if that means uninhibited, unabashed, free, aligned, and embodied ways of interacting with our world and beyond.

Approximately four years ago, I was called to something deeper than what I had already experienced. Primal drums whispered in my ear like a soft, lingering, seductive whisp of a kiss. Eventually, they grew louder and louder—visceral thunderous vortexes rattled my dreams.

I felt a sacred calling; an undeniable summon that washed me ashore onto the soil of Colombia, slammed me to my knees, and bowed my head at the sandaled feet of a shaman. The journeys in that Amazonian jungle with plant medicine, Sun Goddess sitting me upon her throne, stars connecting into a web of cosmic interconnectedness, dimensions breaking open, and ancestors dropping tears of love onto my face broke me open in so many ways.

My journey into shamanism was, on the one hand, a spiritual awakening unlike any other experience, and, on another, a revelation to the perfect balance between submission with nature and cosmos—full embodiment and empowerment as a divine sexual goddess and an uninhibited, unabashed surrender into the realm beyond our human forms. I tapped into a natural rhythm; a cosmic hum like a universal vibrator—one that won’t run out of charge in the most inopportune time.

I still remember my first sexual experience with nature. I was lying in my bed feeling the desire for release. My eyes instinctively closed and, immediately, I found myself wandering through a dense forest full of massive, erect, fucking gorgeous old-growth redwoods. They were large in girth, held the ancient wisdom of a woman, and were subtly egocentric in their sexy, standoffish energy like the bad boys of the woods.

As I traced my finger along the ridges of his thick bark, a large branch in the shape of a large hand swooped down, cradling me as I lifted into the sky,  while another hand with a large, thick, branch of a finger curved ever so slightly came slowly toward me. I arched my back, letting my head fall, exposing my neck. His finger inserted into my vagina and before he could even reach the ‘gasmic om area, I erupted violently, screaming loudly into my pillow and shaking with indescribable bliss.

He held me gently until I was finished crying with joy, and then softly placed me back onto the ground.

Another one: I closed my eyes and floated up into space…soaring through the cosmos, cooing at the nebulas and resisting the temptress pulls of black holes. I drifted into a pink, fleshy galaxy Goddess that titillated my senses by slowly opening her legs, revealing fleshy, lush folds illuminated by starlight and a pulsing, swollen clitoris with an ethereal glow. She beckoned me closer and I went down on her until we were both dripping in cosmic nectar.

How does one do this? Surrender.

Let your soul guide you on a journey. Be curious. Our senses are portals into a world of sensation, unfolding our true sexual selves. I flirt with nature throughout the day, letting nature and the cosmos slowly seduce me over time by sending naughty winks to spread eagles in the sky and catcalling the voluptuous mounds in the hills, lush and green.

I gather sensation memories and store them for later, pulling them up and weaving a fantasy so erotic that I’m left panting in the heat. Nature’s tantra. Universe’s Kama Sutra. Enlightened sex. A cosmic Danielle Steele novel. Mindfulness’s sexy shadows. Natural vibrating panties without the annoying remote control.

Notice the essence of a lingering, ethereal afterglow manifesting into a fully embodied soul train that hums in glee and enlightened expressions of love, connection, and empowerment. Your sexual, sensual self will sparkle for days. Your smile will electrify all life around you. Your body will move with the grace of a gazelle and you will experience life as if you are skinny dipping into a pool of water fingers that send electric impulses into every inch of your soul.

You will buzz.

You will flow.

You will be fully heart-centered and alive. Trust me.

Here are 15 innocently, expert-level, sexy ways to invoke natural sensuality into your day:

1. Let your eyes fall upon the elegant shape of a branch. See how she arches her back in a burlesque-ish tease.

2. Trace your fingertip along the translucent, supple edges of an iris petal. Slowly pull back her folds and reveal the stiff stamen standing erect and divine.

3. Feel the wind softly playing with your hair, seducing your neck with whispered kisses—a cool refreshment against your heated skin, light fingertips coaxing submission.

4. Exhale deeply as you would with your lover. With each exhale, allow yourself to surrender just a little bit more. Allow for submission. You cannot be an alpha woman all the time. Let go.

5. Listen to the pulse of nature as the sun goes down; earth starts to buzz and vibrate, crickets rub their legs together, frogs send out deep tones of beckoning, trees exhale in exhaustion from the heat of the day, the moon slowly takes the torch from the sun with her mischievous smile slyly peeking over a mountain range as she prepares for her seduction.

5. Explode citrus onto your tongue. Let it cause little moans of pleasure as it slowly slides down your throat. Transcend this mundane human world.

6. Tap into serpent energy. Imagine a snake wrapping its coils around your naked body, slithering upward, inward, and outward, with a flickering tongue emanating scintillating danger.

7. Play a monotone drum sound. Let your eyes fall back and reveal the sight of the third eye. Allow your blood to dance to the beat. Transcend your body until your clit is performing a fire dance around a blazing flame of methodical trance.

8. Play in the innocent energy of a spring shower. Chantilly lace panties gently removed, curious exploration and shy giggles, tiny peeks from bulbs of tulip, daffodils, and crocuses.

9. Become a sun goddess. Let the heat of her glare soften defenses and melt inhibitions. Let the heat radiate from your body creating perspiration and quenches of thirst that evaporate into sex steam.

10. Play in the ocean. Feel the intermittent pulse of the crash and shy retreat of the waves. Let the water tease you as it edges near your bare feet, leaving you longing for more contact.

11. Watch a thunderstorm. Like a sultry night in Madrid after the bars have passed out in exhaustion, bodies sweaty and depleted, thunderbolts momentarily recharging lovers for more, streaks of strobe lightning striking momentary silhouettes of body’s curvaceous forms.

12. Frolick in a field of wildflowers. Notice the color bursts, stems, and stamens cushioning your body with a pillow of petals, adorning you with a crown of rosehips as the Queen of Woodland Fairies, dew from morning’s dance adorning you with a sacred bath of flowery essence, preparing you for his grace, King Oak.

13. Be with Earth. Get dirty. Allow soil to build under the fingernails. Let the barefoot rhythm bring you to your knees, spread your palms as they fall upon Earth, and receive your partner from behind.

14. Be with the moon. This is great for couples: go outside, gaze at the stars while slowly touching and stroking one another. Let the sensations linger softly, at first. Let the natural rise of the moon guide you into a crescendo as the night progresses, eventually permitting the moon to lift you up and slide you down onto the shaft of your divine masculine partner.

Let the moon cradle you and allow her undulations to ebb and flow from your tongue as you open your translucent petals of an exotic flower.

15. Be with fire. Watch the undulating plumes of smoke and belly dancing forms of flame. Listen to the cracks of air releasing from the wood like a whip of a dominatrix. Smack!

Women, trust me when I say this, letting go and aligning ourselves with the natural flow of life and energy will completely transform our relationship with sex, our partners, the world, and most importantly, with ourselves.

Society’s version of sex is like a candy shop: lots of appeal and temptation, pretty colors, and enticing displays. But in the end, the sugar high fizzles into nothingness, leaving a trail of emptiness and regret.

We hide in our bedrooms with a cloak of cotton sheets, lights dim, and go through the motions.

Get outside! Or at least open an fucking window.

Or bring a flower into bed. You are an fucking sexual goddess and your chariot awaits.

Put on your fucking crown, ride the shaft of the universe, and revel in the lush, moist gardens of nature. Share your stories with your lover, invite your partner into the realm of possibilities, allow them to witness the beauty of your sexual goddess self, revealing all that you can do to yourself and your partner.

Men, witness her glory.

Don’t push her into a box that is simply an old rerun of porn clips you watched when you were an adolescent boy. Accept her invitation into sacred sexuality. She will obliterate your narrow constructs, but trust me, if you are brave and egoless enough to bow before your queen, you will soon bear witness to the full glory of her powers.

Then, you will be lifted up onto your throne of the divine masculine, where your queen will bring to fruition your greatest desires. Trust me. Be patient. It will be worth it.

Important tips to note:

>> Let yourself be seduced

>> Be a seducer

>> Let it linger

>> Resist the climax.

>> Enjoy the climb

Nature is always available; it’s a 24/7 convenient sex store that has new merchandise every day, keeping us on our toes for the sexual adventures of a lifetime.

Be sure to express gratitude to our nature spirits. Put a ball and gag on the inner critic that will want to judge your thoughts and desires. Whip that bitch into submission.

Let the inner sexual goddess energy overflow within and throughout, illuminating the chakras and opening the Kundalini energy.

Let your energy charge those around you and let your life force energy give back to nature like sweet nectar concocted through sexual synthesis. Let’s turn up that technicolor vibe in our sexual lives.

Go, my sexual warriors!