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Holding on to things and people who aren’t meant for us does more damage than good in the long run.

Trust me. I’ve been there, in the worst of ways.

I’ve spent days and weeks, sometimes months, when I watched the clock to celebrate making it through another minute of letting go.

I’m reminding myself now of how and what I did to let go before because I have a box full of things and people who aren’t meant for me, sitting at my feet and leaning on my chest. I thought that while I’m at it, I might as well write it down and share it with whoever else is here with me.

These tips and insights are not in chronological order or specific to every situation, so take whatever you need and use it how and when you feel you need to. Are you ready?

1. Delete, erase, separate, get rid of, block—say goodbye to all things that keep the cord connected.

Those messages in your inbox? Gone. Not ready for that yet? Archive it.

Get it out of sight. Get rid of the clothes, the pictures, and whatever else you can think of.

Remove everything that you can easily stumble upon and has the power to bring back an unwanted memory from your sight, and when you’re ready—because sometimes we aren’t quite ready to jump right off the ship—remove it from the space you’re holding for it behind the metaphorical curtain.

2. Allow yourself to grieve.

Allow yourself to sit in silence and notice where and what you’re feeling. Let the emotions move through you. Let yourself process this stage of the process.

Write it out in a letter you’ll never send. Then, get rid of that too.

3. Remember your why.

Why it’s not meant for you. Why it’s not working. Why it hurts. Why you chose to let go.

Write it down because you’ll have moments where you forget and need to be reminded. Tuck it away for that rainy, romanticizing, lonely day.

4. Close the door and look for the lesson that will keep it locked.

What did you learn about yourself? What did you learn about the situation? What part of you do you need to work through and let go of?

Much like cleaning up the trash your dog got into, you’re going to feel things; you’re going to have to remove things off your once-clean floor; you’re going to have to scrub it again, toss it away, and remember to keep the can out of his reach so you don’t have to go through it all over again.

Remember. It’s going to take time to move through this process, but these tips help when you haven’t a clue where to start or what to do.

Before you know it, there will be space on the next stepping stone for you to land on, and when you get there, you’ll be grateful you let go of the last one.

What do you want to do with the space you’re creating?