“Somewhere between the prayers and the plans.”

This Smithfield lyric sums up my universe. I texted my business manager last night and set a business goal for the first time in over a year.

Because, for the last 12 months, the goal was survival.

It was a year of utter imperfection—lessons I didn’t feel ready for and sacrifices that altered the way I lead and how deeply I trust.

Normal energy feels a bit resistant because the potential of scarcity and abundance seem to be dancing a little too close for comfort and the fear still feels alive.

I leaned hard on my mama a few weeks ago when I was hesitant to invest in a product. Business ownership is a series of risks—it’s choosing to invest without knowing the return and making more fear-induced decisions than you ever will.

But these emotions are like the feeling of the sand between my toes after a year lost at sea.

This is all new.

I feel as much like the 21-year-old girl who opened studio one with $400 to her name as I do the woman warrior who battled like hell for the privilege of standing upright again. It’s the most expansive emotional state I’ve ever experienced.

And there’s nothing normal about it.

I’ve always loved my job, but crying tears of gratitude for energy that was lost and then resurrected changes you; it alters your definition of gratitude.

So, if you are trying to find your rhythm—feeling equal parts alive and afraid—I hope you know you aren’t alone.

It’s okay to set goals.

It’s okay to reach for help.

It’s okay to call your mama as a grown-ass adult.

There are no rules.

Trust your integrity and love hard on the hearts that treaded water right next to you through the storm.

While you love the ones who are showing up to assist in reviving, the rest will work itself out.

After all, you are a survivor.

~