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F!@(*@$(*^$T_)*@f#U!!!!!

We all have those days when it feels like the world is ending. And I admittedly have them pretty damn often.

I try to use mindfulness to be present with them. I try to use the tools I’m learning or have learned in therapy. I try to embrace logic and remind myself that one thing doesn’t necessarily have an attachment to literally all similar moments in time.

I try to not take things personally. I try not to take things so seriously and to not let myself take the weight of the world onto my shoulders. I try to remember the Buddhist rule about worrying.

Some days, I succeed. Other days, I fail. Like, really fail and end up wallowing in my misery, convinced my lover’s going to realize I’m not enough and that my job is going to discover I actually suck at everything I do.

But the days that really get me—the ones that really suck my life juice—are the ones where I decide that I am the one who’s supposed to make everyone see eye-to-eye, hug, and make up—the days where I decide that I need to be the savior. Ugh!

And on those days, I remember this meditation.

It lacks taste, class, and the “togetherness” you might expect to find in a traditional meditation video—and that’s exactly what I love about it. It’s got a bit of a frantic feel that’s just so f*cking real. Because I dunno about you, but when I’m unhinged, it’s hard to sit still and composed on a cushion, taking in slow, deep breaths.

Sometimes, you gotta let your chest rise and fall rapidly in a combination of rage and attempted composure.

Sometimes you gotta sit shaking a bit with what is; and that’s the simple realization that you don’t have a damn lick of control.

Sometimes you gotta let meditation be full of frustration and fury instead of peace and stillness.

That’s what I love about this video. It’s pretty much the only one that offers me what I need on the f*cking sh*ttiest of days: validation that there are people in the world who know exactly this feeling that I’m going through, a reminder that mindfulness doesn’t have to be fancy or classy, and that there is letting go in laughter.

So if today is one of those days when the only words you can think of are expletives…

This will do the trick to at least shove some of that gloom out of the room of your mind:

Note: It’s that second “I don’t give a f*ck” for me. Gets me every time.