I can remember recently chatting with someone with whom I was acquainted. We were discussing worry and anxiety over things we could not control. I had indicated that while I was the Queen of Worry for approximately two decades, I gave up the crown and had since acquired a life that was so much more enjoyable. She proceeded to asked how I moved from point A to point B…how did I get so lucky?

This is where I had to laugh. Thinking about my past, my abuse of alcohol and substances, and all of the stereotypical rock bottom moments I had had, the last thing most would consider me was lucky. In fact, I had endured consequences that should have pushed me into the abyss. I should have been cynical, sure that there was no turning things around. And perhaps for a moment, I was. But I made a choice to remove one thing from my life that would eventually bring me to a place of such peace and tranquility. I removed one thing…substances…from my life, and a switch flipped that allowed my perspective to shift and truly moved me to becoming someone I never believed I could be.

You see, the thing about my past behavior in addiction was that, despite wanting to control everything and everyone around me, the simple fact was that I was never in control of anything. I couldn’t even control myself, yet I was out there trying to control the behavior of others, the way certain events would turn out, and multiple situations that were simply uncontrollable. How frustrating and anxiety-provoking it is to be a human who is constantly feeling as though they are not successful if they do not have this power over others and circumstances. Can you relate? I think many struggle with issues of control in some capacity.

Once I decided to no longer drink, I started to see how thinking about success in terms of manipulating and dictating the behaviors of others had never served me. In focusing on my addiction, I realized I have control over one thing, and that is my actions. I can control what I do and how I react to others and situations. Worry over anything beyond that is fruitless. It only serves to frustrate, annoy, and agitate. I started to do my best to let go of the control I had needed in the past and focus solely on me. And while it took practice and time to learn this, I finally was able to utilize this method to live a much more calm and confident life.

So, no, this was not a matter of luck at all. Living with less worry and fear was a matter of making a choice to remove one thing from my life in order to gain so many more benefits. Life for me is infinitely more peaceful now. If you are struggling with worry and anxiety, I hope that you are able to find what brings you peace. Sobriety has been that missing link for me.