I am tired and I think a lot of mothers would shout that from the rooftops with me. WE ARE TIRED. But we are not just physically tired from running after rambunctious children, the seemingly never ending pandemic homeschooling situation, convincing toddlers to eat anything (LITERALLY ANYTHING) other than goldfish crackers and playground dirt; my God, we are emotionally and mentally burnt out!

I scroll through the photos of perfectly pristine white sofas topped with siblings hugging one another in matching white outfits or gourmet toddler plates with an impressive array of exotic fruits my kid wouldn’t even poke with a fork and I wonder, “what am I doing wrong?” Nothing in my house remains stain free, let alone a white couch! Seriously? With these sticky fingered little ones running around? What happened to the days of mismatched thrift store play clothes? When did everything become “Instagram worthy” and why is that the standard we hold our own motherhood journey to?

I never once “glowed” when pregnant. My morning sickness was so severe, it was a miracle if I was out of bed. My birth story is not rainbows or “feed worthy” no matter what filter I attempt to put on it. My newborn was clothed in hand me down onesies, if she was ever clothed at all. We lived in survival mode and while every second that you spend with your baby is precious, it is a far cry from the babies sleeping peacefully on  white fur rugs that live on my social media feed.

Motherhood is messy. It is beautiful, but my goodness it is messy! It’s plastic plates piled with boxed Mac and cheese, it’s “this is the only thing clean until I do laundry” mismatched outfits, it’s grass stains and muddy footprints, popsicle stains on the carpet, late night sheet changes with the inevitable midnight diaper blow out. Motherhood is so much more than could ever fit into aesthetically pleasing tiny squares on your phone.

So if you’re like me and your version of motherhood doesn’t look like hers, know this: hers doesn’t look like that either. Rest assured, Mama, your love is more than any amount of perfectly posed family portraits and one day you’ll look back and miss this mess.