It is a usual scene to see a man looking at a woman with eyes wide opened while she is explaining her side of a story – sometimes shouting and he has no clue what she is talking about!

I have been and seen a lot of such acquaintances.

One famous explanation for this act was presented by Mark Gungor in a very renowned video that I have seen years ago. He explained that this is due to the mind composition of a man and a woman. His theory states that a man’s mind is filled with distinguished boxes and a women’s mind is composed of intermingled wires!

His explanation is much likely linked to the scientific fact that it is proven that the size and composition of Men and Women brains are different. Due to this difference of size, the way each uses their mind is different, Women usually “big picture thinkers” and Men usually “Tunnel vision” thinkers and from this nature a lot of behaviors and mostly Intercommunication adaptation differ.

In the same context, there is an Indian legend that states:

God created a great creature and called it “the MAN”, then asked him if he is satisfied,

the MAN answered: no

God Asked: what do you want?

The Man answered:

I want

A mirror I see myself through

A pillow that I rest to when I am tired

A mask that I hide behind when I am sad

A toy that adds joy to my life

A statue that I enjoy its beauty

A lighthouse that guides me

A thought that provokes my mind.

Then God created the WOMAN!

Apparently, the man was missing a lot of things that made him feel he is not whole yet!

There are two ways to look to this perspective of difference and missing, either that it widens the gap and states that it is difficult for both Men and Women to coexist, or to look at it in a perspective that the relationship between a man and a woman must be complementary according to this difference.

In my opinion, if one does not have anything to add to the other, or if the two have nothing to add and they are the same; then no development nor integration can be reached of a Man-Woman relationship. Moreover, if one party is not capable of receiving what they may learn and what the other might add, the relationship will stagnate.

For this to happen, there must be a minimal amount of maturity, understanding and equilibrium, so that each side accepts what can be learned from the other, not by clinging, nor transcendent on the other side, or even by feeling less, but rather to reach “together” to a higher level, more coherent and correct status of being for both parties, and after that the relationship itself.

For this to happen, three level of existence must be addressed:

• Love at the level of the soul.
• Psychological harmony at the level of emotions and thought.
• Physical attraction, at the level of the body and instinct.

If there is a defect in one of these levels, the least that can be said, the relationship will be confused.

The soul alone is not enough

Nor the self alone is enough

Nor the body alone is enough

It is imperative to reach communication and harmony at all these levels to reach a relationship that flourishes, integrates and expands to the status that such relation can add harmony to the rest of the existence.

Whoever works on integration on these levels and had a good level of harmony on a personal level; will accordingly succeed to add this to a relationship once the other side is working on that as well.

Whoever uses their self-development and expansion, only to reach a relationship with another … has given priority to a temporary.

Self-development is a service that you provide to those you relate with and to the universe. It is neither selfishness nor self-indulgence, but to make yourself a servant of the universe with all the relationships you are part of.

For that you need to work on the different levels previously mentioned,

1. Connect with your soul to reach the true state of abstract pure love that you can with receive and send.
2. Understand yourself and your needs as a unique gender. There are different emotional needs for each gender that are distinguished from the other one. These needs are complementary; the more one can give the other side needs authentically, the more that other side can reciprocate that to complete the cycle.

To make this clearer, Women’s highest needs are the lowest of a man generally. Also, women’s highest needs are met once satisfying men highest needs and contrariwise.

Women’s highest needs are:

• Security and safety
• Clarity
• Caring and sharing
• Containment and understanding
• Respect, forgiveness, and acceptance

Men highest needs are:

• Trust
• Freedom
• Privacy and practicality
• Appreciation

1. And finally; at the level of physical communication, it must be understood that this level is important but not the only aspect for relationships. Relationships were created to enjoy them; the more you understand the physicality of yourself and the opposite gender, its rationality, and aspects; the more you enjoy it … instinct attraction is important and nice, but it is not guaranteed to last. Effort and consciousness must be presented at this level to have a long-lasting effect.

To rap it all … the relationship between men and women is a subject of study for sociologist, psychologists, and others for so many years, maybe since the beginning of creation.

From where I see a relationship based on complementation:

• It is necessary to get in harmony inside to a reasonable state for us to invest in a relationship.
• Recognize our needs as unique gender is a responsibility that no one can endure.
• Understand what the other gender needs a way of saying is: I care, and I understand.
• Communicate those needs with the opposite gender in our relationships is a must, mostly people need to know what they are supposed to give.
• Being committed and conscious to work always toward a higher state of harmony, not only for our small circles but rather for the whole existence.