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Men. You gotta love ‘em. And we can’t live without ‘em.

That doesn’t mean they don’t drive us crazy every once in a while…or all the time.

If you are an adult woman who has ever dated, chances are, you have encountered some of these creatures. Chances are, you have talked with one long enough to hear some of their lines. Clever lines. Oh, boy, are they clever. And I have heard them all.

My girlfriends and I compared notes recently, and these were our favorites:

>> “You’re the only person I can open up to.”

No, you aren’t. He’s opening up to more than just you.

>> “It’s different with you.”

No, it isn’t.

>> “You’re my best friend.”

Highly unlikely.

>> “You can trust me.”

No, you can’t. Only untrustworthy people say sh*t like this.

>> “It’s just you.”

No, it isn’t. If he’s telling you that, don’t be fooled.

>> “I only want you.”

Most definitely not true. We are sexual beings. All of us.

>> “I love you.”

The jury is still out on this one.

>> “You are everything to me.”

Remain suspicious. This is a big and bold claim.

>> “I wish I found you sooner.”

Stay vigilant. This one might not last.

>> “They meant nothing to me.”

Yes, they did. They wouldn’t have done it otherwise.

>> “I’m not married.”

Warning! Warning! Run that background check, just to be sure.

>> “I’d never hurt you.”

Nobody on this earth can say this. We all hurt someone, whether intentionally or not.

Okay, everyone, relax. This is all obviously quite tongue-in-cheek. We’re just having a little bit of fun. The path to a healthy, long-term, loving relationship is super bumpy.

As the saying goes, we must kiss a lot of frogs before meeting our prince. But, we keep at it. We keep looking and kissing—because we are worthy, damn it, and we deserve love. Let’s try to laugh until we find it.