In my local grocery store after work I stood waiting in line with a handful of articles and a copy of Time Magazine’s special edition on dogs. He was getting garlic and boots. I was wearing my shades which concealed the tears that kept coming and I didn’t notice him as I was engrossed with the Time Magazine and a surge of grief waves. He caught my attention when he spoke saying ” I have to step away can you watch my stuff?” He said that he would be right back and now he had my undivided attention. I watched him walk away shaking my head.

When it came to my turn to purchase my items it was also my turn to take a trip away from the line as I noticed that I left my wallet in the car and had to run out. The cashier was chill and said he would wait. When I returned there he was getting ready to pay for his garlic and rubber boots which needed a price check and this was taking time. He apologized for jumping ahead of me and insisting that I go ahead. The banter was back and forth with the entire line and cashier were all shaking their heads. In this moment time did that funny thing and stood still or moved in slow motion. We had a little moment there in the grocery isle chatting and looking deeply into each others eyes.

What followed was more dialogue and he shared that he was a journalist. I repeated his words in my head thinking ” of course he is a journalist buying boots and on his way to cover the floods that are happening in my local region”. I realized that he shared this information in hopes to make connection. After hearing this I shut down and averted my eyes. My body language changed from open and engaged to closed off. He noticed and adjusted his leather jacket collar as if accepting the change in demeanor and taking it in deciding on his next move.

Let me tell you this was hard as I am trying desperately trying to focus on myself right now and yet he was an young Art Garfunkel look alike that made my heart beat faster. A little voice in my head whispered ” let him go” this organic meeting was a spark and there could be fire yet was I ready? These rare chance meetings some would say are rare and I beg to differ. Don’t we meet tons of people everyday? Again most will say no! You didn’t exchange numbers? Atlas no- after hearing the words ” I am a journalist” my mind when foggy and my body felt like it dissolved. I am not ready I said to myself.

What happens to us when we do not want to meet someone?

Murphy’s law says that we meet someone and there is fire.

This seems to be life.

The truth is fruitful unions are all about three things availability, timing and healing.

Are we ready for a relationship is the big question?.

If we aren’t the best thing to do is realize this and carry on. If we meet someone who is already in a relationship and there is a spark this is also a conundrum and finally if we are still needing the space and time to heal the wounds of our traumatic past it doesn’t matter who walks into our life if we aren’t ready we aren’t ready and this is more than ok.

More people find love in the grocery store than any other place. It is life and where we all need to go to find what sustains us. Our grocery stores are often the heart of our communities. Singles do not shop at Costco we shop at smaller stores where these organic meetings happen. If you want to avoid meeting singles it is best to shop at Costco.

This organic meeting made me think of the possibility of a real life connection that might possibly work. Up until now I was connecting with the impossible in which the reality of a relationship was a fantasy and there were so many obstacles in the way.

After returning home and later that night I called my friend and shared about the stranger in the express lane that had set my heart pitter pattering because of the dialogue and banter.
” You let him go?” she asked and my answer was yes, and that I felt actually proud of myself. In some strange way. I thought in that moment that possibly the universe was testing as I felt I was not ready.

This of course is a huge cognitive distortion.

The truth is I am not ready and this is ok. Healing is a journey with no timeline. I have to admit I have gone over the grocery scene now a million times in my head and I can still see his eyes and lips and the sweetness of his words. There is a part of me that questions my own doubt and still I say if things are meant to be they happen when both are ready.

Deep sighs, love is everywhere when we are ready and on good days they happen organically purchasing garlic and buying a magazine on dogs because that is likely the next step to a partnership. A dog oh, I might be ready for a dog.