You know when you have said something that is morally incomprehensible. When you have expressed a sentiment that goes against not only the prevailing trend but centuries old practice. I did that last night. I said I did not want a dog because I do not think that animals should be pets.

Now, I have my reasons and there is background to this but the more interesting thing is the reaction from my audience. Clearly I had poked a tender spot, one which would require much defense, propping, soothing and coddling to heal.

My feelings and reasoning around this are varied and I haven’t always felt this way. I grew up with animals, dogs, cats, horses and a cow or two. Later in life I brought home dogs and bought my own horse, had multiple cats and enjoyed them all. I think they enjoyed me as well, maybe not the horse but that is another story

The first reaction (after the initial shocked silence) was an earnest and lengthy description of when, where and how my friend would purchase a dog. Reputable breeder, stable lifestyle with ample fenced property, in home care and companionship etc. etc. etc. In other words the pet would have the best lifestyle that humans could possibly provide.

Following this my other friend began firing questions at me. Why do you feel this way, do you dislike dogs, have you had an incident, have you always felt this way? Then she went on to say that she did not want the first dog the family got but after about 5 years she “grew’ to like it………..? (That dog lived in a kennel in the garage most of the time)

Back to my other friend, who states nonsensically, “I will have a dog because I grew up with dogs”.  I grew up with poison ivy in my yard, that does not mean I will plant it in my yard now.

So as this conversation rolls over and over I am beginning to cotton on to the mistake I have made. I have decided not to participate in something that I do not believe is right. I do not believe that animals should be made into pets. I believe that they should run in packs, fly in flocks, swim in oceans and hang around on trees waiting for tasty humans to pass beneath them.

I am not stupid, I know that my decision about this will not impact the world one little tiny bit but it is my decision to make and it is my personal sense of integrity to be true to. But why was my audience soooo offended?

The grand culmination of this ill advised conversation was when second friend triumphantly said, “What about service dogs. Do you think that is bad too”?  So there, if I said yes, then I am a cruel asshole who wants people with disabilities to be denied their helpful companions. If I said no then of course animals in service to humans is not ok…”except”.

My ever evolving understanding of this issue is that people want something that either loves them unconditionally and that they can love unconditionally, or, they want something they can have power over that cannot fight back. Most want to give and get the unconditional love part and pets fulfill that role neatly with little pushback. Probably our relationship with animals is much more complicated than this but so far my understanding is limited.

All of this of course is a metaphor for “doing the next right thing”, thanks Liz Gilbert. Sometimes we need to just do what we believe in our hearts is the right thing even though we know that it goes against the tide, and won’t impact the world in anyway. We need to not do what we have always done or have what we have always had or believe what we have always believed. We can follow the thin broken threads that lead us to that sweet place of our own truth.