(For My Cowboy)

What constitutes the love of your life

Someone you actually marry or sleep next to every night

Or the one you met when young by chance

With an instant connection of fire & ice

When so completely opposite & unlikely expected

To return for more of an unorthodox relationship

The one who always made you laugh, felt safe, like home

Whose voice you longed to hear

Who you thought you would eventually marry & grow old with

When circumstances improved

Or when they chose their own heart first before other’s expectations

We may not always understand

Why people make their choices

Usually with regrets

Of what could have been instead

Both lives totally changed

They don’t see the tears in your eyes

Or that your heart is broken to pieces

Upon their dire rejection

Is it better to have love & lost

Than to never loved at all

When someone is no longer a call away

The sorrow hits deep within

Wishing you had something of theirs to hold for comfort

Seeking similar tributes

You may not realize until their death

That they were indeed the love of your life

For them to stay in contact through many years

Perhaps you were theirs too

So much complicated history

Too many words left unspoken

Is their soul nearby so that they can hear them now

Were you in their last thoughts

Saying your name or nickname

Needing you close

You would have been if you knew

Collage of flashing special moments when you close your eyes

Their ingrained voice heard in the silence

The thought of them being gone

Is too much to bear

Imagine their arms holding you when sleeping

Perhaps invade your dreams

In order to finally be together

Until you see them again on another realm

So many things that cause reminders of them

When the memories previously brought on happy thoughts

Now will cause fallen tears

Until they feel like loving hugs of remembrance

Some people are fortunate

To love more than once

You may always grieve for the first

But don’t close your heart

Who knows what could still be

~ Laura Booker

Written Nov 2021