I am often asked how I stay so confident and authentic. At some point during my teen years I decided “Fuck Your Judgement” would be my phrase for anyone that didn’t like the real me. Coming to this conclusion was freedom. Freedom to be myself and encourage others to do the same.

I noticed as a child that adults were more often than not talking in a negative manner about other people, even children. From what clothing they wore to trying to guess if they were gay because they weren’t married “yet”. Even if someone fit into their little box of what a good citizen should look and sound like, they could still find a bone to pick (behind their back, of course). I also often had an intuitive feeling that most didn’t like me much either. Probably because I have always been a vocal female and even as a small child this was frowned upon by numerous folks. Children are to be seen and not heard. It sounded like that’s actually what they wanted adults to do too, especially those with another viewpoint than them.

Public places with crowds of the unknown were amusement parks for the critical mind. This person is too big to wear that, she should parent (spank) her child, he is covered in tattoos, they curse too much. It just never seemed to end. Then it clicked, the realization that no matter how hard you work to be a good person or meet the standards of society, they will, without a doubt, judge you for something.

I started my first job at twelve years old. I think this also gave me the opportunity to be around a wide range of people. It gave me an awareness that people from all walks of life were judging their fellow humans. Sometimes it was just to break an awkward silence but sometimes it was a deep rooted form of hate. In my personal experience it was those who claimed a religion that seemed to spit the most venom. This led to my decision to find my own path to Creator without a label or a list of man made rules. Of course, this too was judged. I bring this up because it was probably the most influential in my choice to be completely me, all the time. I’ve loved to ‘curse’ (I don’t like calling it this…you’ll see why) for as long as I can really remember. Those of religious faiths would gasp, hold their chest, and look as if hell was going to burst through the floor and devour me. Occasionally I would bite my tongue and use some other word like heck or frick. Then it hit me… A curse is not this list of words that didn’t even exist when the holy books were written, but instead judgment is the curse. Especially when said directly to the other person or they are told of it by a third party. When confidence is low, they believe your curse because they were already losing their personal power in a whirlwind of adverse thoughts. Now the judgment of strangers has validated their lack of worth.

How many people on this planet know you? I mean really know you, your heart, and intentions? Even those that you just listed in your mind cannot see past their own level of consciousness. If you are working toward freedom of self, remember that it is not your job to expand their heart or comprehension.

Before any keyboard warrior begins to type hateful comments regarding this article I say to you, Fuck Your Judgment. Perhaps Fuck My Judgment too as I am clearly judging those who judge.