I recently spent some time with my grandma Val. My grandpa had just passed away and we were sorting through old photos for the memorial. As we flipped through our family history, she said something to me that really struck a chord.

She said, “Missy, you are in such a good frame of mind. You don’t let anything bother you. You weren’t always like this, but I’m glad you are now”.

She might not be completely right because I still get mad when people walk too slow. And I get super annoyed when my coffee order is taking forever and a day. But, 4 years ago, my life was total chaos, and I was constantly stressed to the max. My marriage was over, and my future was very uncertain. I had a laundry list of big decisions ahead of me.

Fast forward 4 years, and like grandma said, my “frame of mind” is so much different than before. After getting through my divorce and learning a new “normal” with my girls, I have settled into a very peaceful and joyful life.

While there are certainly things that still stress me out or make me mad or cause me to feel pain and sadness, my life now is very calm. And it takes a lot to shake me.

Of course, as a single mom of two teenagers, I’m constantly worried about money and being able to take care of my kids. When things get tough, I remember that in the 3 years since my divorce, I have endured so many hardships and I’ve always come out on the other side.

The past few years have not been easy on my heart, and it’s been broken a couple of times. While breakups are rarely easy and never fun, I’ve managed to take away a lesson from them that has, ultimately, made me a stronger person. I still think back on memories that make me angry or sad from time to time. Then I remind myself how many times my heart has been shattered and how I put those pieces back together again every single time. Every. Single. Time.

Life is hard, with constant ups and downs. You never know what’s waiting around the corner. It could be more trouble, or it could be an unexpected surprise. The old me would be constantly worried and stressed out about things that hadn’t happened yet. Things that might not ever happen. If the last few years have taught me anything, it’s that living that way is a complete waste of time and energy. I choose to take life one day a time. I choose to face whatever comes head-on, because I know how strong I am. I wake up every day feeling happy and hopeful. I remember to appreciate the little things like a smile from a stranger or a sunny afternoon.

I have a choice, every single day, and I’m choosing happiness, peace and joy. And apparently Grandma Val thinks it looks good on me.