It is Saturday afternoon and  I am sipping a sweat cream milkshake I wait for my friend for an old-fashioned dinner. I am early and she is late. We are ok with this we know each other and are not offended by each other’s quirks. I twirl the velvety smooth milkshake and sigh. I am slightly addicted to ice cream even though I am lactose intolerant. Funny how the things that make us sick also are our true heart desire. This is ironic and so are many things in life.

After she arrives we slip into banter and then talk about dating and online relationships. Her heart is broken yet again. My heart breaks for her. I wonder why love comes easy for some and others, it is painstakingly tragic. I try to focus and listen to my friend and my mind calls me on a journey of exploration and writing. I start to write and I am called back in my mind. As I say ” there is no methadone for love”.

” Are you listening?” I nod and relax and make a mental note to start taking notes. I will write this later.

Love and the feeling that love brings is often equated to being similar to the high from opiates. Yet, there is no drug for love or the pain many feel or try not to feel. Love is complicated and yes there is often heartache and heartbreak involved regardless of age, race or orientation. Love can hurt and often we humans chase and run from love.

So many of us enter the world a blank slate ready for learning and love and others bring with them wounds and struggles they have felt pre-birth. Some people see the sunset and sunrise as a bloody sky and the rain that falls as ash. Some people feel everything intensely and for these people love is also intense and painful. Many of us miss the bonds of parental attachment and unconditional love early on and this impacts.

This might ring true for you and if it does know that you are not alone and have the courage for you can learn to lean into love and strong emotions and tread slowly. If you are fearful of attachment and tend to be anxious you might find yourself running away from love. If you are clingy you might hold on too tight to love. Both are challenging and can form a wedge in relationships.

As I write this my heart warms. I want to evoke love and compassion. Relationships are challenging for all of us and we are all evolving myself included.

If your heart is on fire with love and this isn’t the good kind of fire fear not. Hold on and hold fast for this pain you feel will not last. Meditate on the vibration of love sending it out and out to the world and the universe. Be the love you wish to have. Celebrate the joy in the simple puppy kisses and cat cuddles. The love of friends and family. Start by celebrating your own heart and your own life.

As the musicians sing ” There ain’t no cure for love” and there isn’t a doctor who can write a prescription for heartache other than some self-care and time. My prescription to my friend and to you is this, yes, our hearts are meant to feel and like the clouds, all painful periods pass. Often after difficult periods, we have periods of contentment, peace and love. Take comfort in the uncomfortable and lean in. Make a fire and sit and write out your joys and sorrows and let them become the ash. Let the rain fall during the sunshine and smile knowing that life is full of infinite possibilities and so are you.